A Time For Sanity at the Dinner Table

Sitting around the dinner table is something we do at every meal. We try hard to limit our evening activities and so far since the kids are little that has been easy. It's very rare we are not all together for supper. Lately though, this has been a time that I dread. It had become quite loud and more than I could handle after a full day of taking care of kids, especially lately with a newborn. So one afternoon I decided that I was going to bring the sanity back to the dinner table. 

I first created a list of "Table Rules". There are some things our kids do really well at the dinner table but then there are other certain things they do that drive me crazy so those were to be the rules we would work on. For instance, one rule is, "No interrupting. If you want to speak, wait your turn." With 5 speaking children who are all excited to tell you their tales of the day and a mom and dad who haven't spoken to each other all day it was getting difficult for everyone to be heard. There are only 5 rules so it's not too overwhelming for them. We figure once they master these ones, if there are more things we need to work on we can change the rules over time.

Next I created a "Rewards System". Don't get too excited, it's actually quite simple. If they obey all the rules during the meal they get to put a star on the chart for that day. At the end of the week if they earned 4 stars they get to pick a candy from the candy bowl. If they have earned 5 stars they get to pick a prize from our rewards list. We only use this system Mon-Fri. Weekends are for having fun and practicing the rules without the pressure of earning a star. Plus most weekends we're busy doing stuff and don't always eat at home. 

For our prizes we came up with a list of rewards together. Some of the suggestions were vetoed such as Noah's suggestion of "doing Math for 5 hours". He's so NOT my kid, he loves Math!!! But some fun ones we kept like, "staying up 1/2 hr later then everyone else on a Fri. or Sat." and "20 mins. of Wii alone". The alone part is important because in a house full of kids it's rare anyone gets to do anything alone. Alone is a luxury! So is doing anything one on one with mom or dad so there's also "wrestling with dad" and "watching a movie with mom" as a prize.

I wasn't sure how this was going to work but I have to say that after 4 weeks of doing this it is amazing the results we are seeing. They are all so mindful of the rules and really work hard because they want to earn a prize at the end of the week. The great thing is that all of our prizes on the rewards system are at no cost to mom and dad...bonus!! I am enjoying our meal times so much more and feel like I am actually getting to have a conversation with each one about their day because we are spending less time disciplining and dealing with poor behavior at the dinner table. 

In fact it has been so much fun that Ben and I wanted to get in on it too so we created a list of  "rewards" for each other. Each Friday we get to pick one. The only difference is we get to pick a reward just for being mom and dad! The favorite prize for me would be the "I will do anything you want me to for 1hr"....a lot of cleaning can get done in 1hr!!! There's also fun stuff like, "I'll watch the kids for the evening" and "I'll give you a massage" and my second favorite, "I'll bring home Chinese food for supper". In a time in our lives that has been very stressful and crazy busy these rewards at the end of the week have been fun to look forward to!

So if your meal time is in need of some change or just some fun, I recommend trying what we've implemented. It's been a huge blessing to us and the kids are really loving it!

A Time for Blessings

O taste and see that the Lord is good:

blessed is the man that trusts in Him. ~Psalm 34:8

We always have so much to be thankful for but lately it seems the blessings abound and I am compelled to share. God is so good always!

When I was pregnant for Tess I never imagined that I would face the health issues I have since all my pregnancies and deliveries for the most part went great. I had no reason to think it would be otherwise. I have had blood pressure issues in the past but it has always resolved itself after delivery or at least very shortly after. This time around has been different. Along with adjusting to these new health issues (which I'm being told will likely be a lifetime issue for me now) we've been adjusting to a new baby. For some reason every 3rd baby, for me, is hard. I remember having a very hard time adjusting after Gabe was born, swore I'd never have another (haha). I have always said that more than 3 is just one more and adjusted so well with babies 4 &5, it was a breeze really. Tess is a great baby so it's not even that she's hard. It's just the dynamics of having older kids (they're not always easier) school to contend with and just being plain old tired and yes, a little emotional. Throw in the heath issues, which have been scary at times & medicines that have harsh side effects and you've got one mess of a mommy. Here is where the blessings come in...

Not having family close can make it challenging when things like this come up because there isn't a grandma or aunt & uncle to call to come watch the kids when mom suddenly gets admitted to the hospital. It really can be a juggling act to figure out how we'll make things work at times. How many of you have a friend who shows up at your house at 9am delivering  food for your family and who, knowing you were up sick all the night before because your blood pressure was through the roof, forces you to call the doctor and insists on staying with your 3 younger kids so your husband can take you? Well Ashley, I give you a shout out because you deserve it! The blessing it was knowing that my younger 3 were in great hands while I was in the hospital was incredible. She stayed till Ben got the older 3 from school. And then the blessing of knowing that Ben & the kids would eat well because another friend was delivering a meal that night. Then one friend called Ben consistently throughout the evening to make sure he was fine and when he mentioned being out of milk sent her teenage son over to deliver some to him-Blessings!! To Anita, another shout out has to go out because she has been so amazing, offering to watch my kids. Ben was able to drop all 5 off with her today since there was no school, so he could come be with me at the hospital and has also offered to come be with me during the mornings when Ben goes back to work if I need to rest. Another blessing? We had Tess two weeks ago Thursday and the meals have not stopped coming! Our friends are just incredible and we are blessed beyond measure. I had 3 emails waiting for me when I got home of people wanting to know when they could bring a meal, one email had a list of people already lined up through Saturday. And the last blessing I'll touch upon (there are so many more!) is the blessing of an amazing husband. He has taken such good care of me and the kids while I have been dealing with these issues. A lot of men would dread the task of taking care of 6 kids alone, one being a 2-week old, doing night feedings and all but he assured me before leaving the hospital that he was okay with it, they would be fine and I just needed to focus on getting better. I had wanted Tess with me at the hospital but the Dr.s insisted it was in the best interest of my health that I allow her to be taken care of by someone else for the night. I prayed all night (the migraines that came with the first med I was on and that resulted when I was switched to a different med were excruciating) that Tess would go long stretches between feedings for him and she did...5 hours!!! Praise God for answered prayer. I am so lucky to be married to a man who takes care of his family and does it happily and willingly. He gets the biggest shout-out!! 

I really am so thankful to all of you who have been praying & sent us your loving thoughts. You are too many to mention by name but we don't take you for granted. The love and support that our family continually receives from those around us truly is overwhelming and we consider you all among our greatest blessings. God truly can be trusted and He has shown us time and again that when the need is there He will provide the help...We have tasted and seen first hand that HE IS GOOD! 

A Time for Tess to Arrive

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down

 from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or 

shadow of turning. ~James 1:17

She is finally here! Tess Lucille came fast and furious on October 18 weighing 9lbs, 9oz, our biggest baby yet! Of course she has the full head of hair our babies are famous for-almost ready for ribbons and bows! 

With my past pregnancies, delivery has taken 12+ hours so we expected the same with Tess. Even with being induced the Dr's fully anticipated it would hours before she would make her arrival. When we realized we forgot our camera, the nurse told Ben he had time to go home and get it. For some reason I didn't like that idea and I instead called my friend who lived down the road and she brought us her camera. Good thing too because Ben definitely would have missed the birth had he left-she came that fast! The epidural I wanted never came because there wasn't time, which was fine, it wasn't my first delivery without it, although it would have been nice!! :) From start to finish the entire process took 90 mins....no one was expecting that, not even the Dr. When I told her I needed to push she told me it couldn't be, that it just felt different because of the pitosin. She was wrong, I was right and things moved swiftly once they saw for themselves she indeed was coming! 

I love our hospital, love the staff, love the doctors. We get such amazing care so when they wanted to keep me an extra day to monitor my blood pressure, which was alarmingly high, we had no complaints. Thankfully Ben's mom had come down to take care of the other 5 so we knew our kids were in good hands. After trying different medications that didn't work to lower my blood pressure they have finally found one that is helping. My doctor was really great at explaining to us everything that was going on, and was very gentle when he told us he didn't recommend more pregnancies because he doesn't believe I'll survive another one. We appreciated his honesty but also his compassion in giving us this news. We have much to pray about and consider but more importantly we have a lot to be praising God for and thanking him for. I came close to having a stroke yet he spared me from that and He has given us 6 beautiful, amazing, healthy children and for that we are so grateful! 

A Time to Freeze

It's time to freeze some meals! A new baby, no matter how seasoned you are in welcoming them into your home, adds it's own busy-ness to life and there's always an adjustment period. This is when I appreciate having some meals frozen in my freezer, on those days that seem insanely hectic  or I'm just too exhausted to cook. I will say that our friends and church family are amazing at providing us meals when we have a baby. They are so generous and a real blessing to us. But once the meals stop coming and real life sets in, I am always thankful that I took the time to be prepared. 

I just tried a new recipe from a recipe book I didn't have during other pregnancies. It's called Fix, Freeze, Take & Bake and it has so many really great recipes, perfect for making ahead and freezing. One that I just tried, and what we are having for supper tonight is so incredibly good that I had to share. No fancy pictures, or step by step instructions. Just a really great recipe. Don't forget to double it so you can get dinner and a meal to freeze! Actually if you are a small family you can easily get dinner and a meal to freeze with one recipe. 

Chicken Tortellini Casserole
2 1/2 C. small frozen cheese tortellini pasta
1 1/2 C. frozen broccoli
2 C. cooked, diced chicken, fresh or canned (I used fresh)
1/2 C. grated Parmesan cheese
1 C. shredded mozzarella cheese
1 1/2 C. white sauce (see recipe below)
2-2 T. butter, melted
2/3 C. bread crumbs
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1 tsp. dried parsley
1/2 tsp. dried oregano

In a medium pot, cook tortellini according to package directions. Add broccoli for final mine of cooking time to allow it to thaw and warm. Drain and rinse in cold water. In a medium bowl, toss together tortellini, broccoli, cooked chicken, Parmesan and mozzarella cheese. Transfer to a greased 2-qt casserole dish (I used a disposable aluminum pan for freezing). Pour white sauce over all and stir to combine. In a small bowl, combine melted butter, bread crumbs, basil, parsley and oregano. Sprinkle mixture over top of casserole. Cover and freeze.

To Prepare: Preheat oven to 375. Lightly cover and bake frozen casserole for 30 mins. Remove cover and bake an additional 20-25 minutes. 

White Sauce
2 T. cornstarch
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 C. milk
2 T. butter or margarine
** I added granulated garlic**

A Time for School

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose

under heaven. ~Ecc. 3:1

If you spend any amount of time with me then you have heard me refer to, "this season of life" several times. When I am overwhelmed is especially when I try to remember that most things are only for a season. That was one of the main reasons I titled the blog the way I did. The other reason is because these particular passages of scripture are my husband's favorite. 

This year we had three of our kids start school on the first day. We now have one in 3rd grade, one in 2nd grade and one in Kindergarten. This seems so crazy to me because I really feel like we just started having kids. How can we possibly have 3 already in school. But that is how fast time goes. The past couple of weeks I have been thinking a lot about when I had all my little ones at home and no one was in school. At the time that I had Will Noah was not yet 5 so I had all 4 boys at home. Will came unexpectedly and very quickly following Gabe's birth. It was a really overwhelming time for me. I didn't leave the house often, only when I absolutely had to...for the first few months anyway. I remember at the time thinking that things will be a lot easier once Noah starts school and I "only" have 3 during the day. Then Noah started school and I was so surprised how that didn't seem to lighten my load any, it actually made our lives so much busier. And that has been the case following all the other's starting school. Now looking back I have the perspective and wisdom to know that I shouldn't be wishing away the time I have with my kids or hoping they would grow up quicker. Because it doesn't get easier just because they get older. Of course, the day I am all done with night feedings, diaper changes and potty training I'm sure I'll be thrilled but in my experience...those are the easier days! And you never would have caught me saying that 3 years ago. 

Life before early mornings of getting kids ready for school, laundry HAVING to be caught up because your kids are in public EVERY DAY (haha!), making lunches, helping with homework, extra activities like soccer and Good News Club, school fundraisers, field trips, etc. And if you are in my same season of life you are doing all of that on top of raising some toddlers at home.  And those are just the activities of life. I haven't even touched on the character building that comes with age. I am just so thankful God gives wisdom liberally to those who ask!

Why have I been thinking about this so much lately? Because I'm about to have a baby and this is the first baby I will deliver right in the middle of a school year. Jena has been my only baby born when I had one in school and at that time Noah was in Kindergarten and it was right at the end of the school year. Most of the extra activities were done, homework wasn't coming home as often and we had the whole routine down pat. This time around, school is just starting which means our load is heavy. The 3 boys are in soccer, we start Good News Club, it's our busy time at church with different ministries starting up, there will still be lunches to make and homework to help with (x3) no matter how tired we are. And no matter how little sleep I will have gotten the night before I will still have to be up at 5:30 to get everyone ready for school. No matter how fussy the kids were, there are still things that will HAVE to get done, like laundry and grocery shopping. Life cannot be put on hold for a "season" like we have relied on in the past. That overwhelms me a bit but I know that with God's help we will be able to do it. And I also know that once we are doing it, though it might be hard, we'll be pleasantly surprised that it's really not as bad as we thought it was going to be. This is a new "season in life" for me and I'm excited to meet our new little girl and see what God teaches me through it. For now I am unapologetically enjoying my last month with just two little ones at home and trying to spend as much time with them doing things that were harder to do with 5 home before the baby comes. It's a sweet gift I have and I intend to appreciate it to it's fullest!

A Time for Camp Good News

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. ~Deut. 6:7

If you are not familiar with Camp Good News click on the link and see what it's about. Ben grew up going to Camp Good News (a CEF ministry) as a kid and then when he was a teenager attended CYIA (Christian Youth In Action). This year was the first year that we had a child old enough to be a camper, which starts at age 8. Because Ben was a counselor in the cabin and Owen had an older sibling in the cabin, they let him be an overnight camper too. They all had such a great time. Ben really loved being a counselor and Noah and Owen had a great time...although the very busy schedule was a lot for them to get used to at first. Each camper gets to choose a "skill activity" they want to participate in for the week. Each day they have 1hr learning that skill with an instructor. Owen got Rifelry with Ben, he was the instructor for that skill. Noah chose archery. They were both really happy with what they chose and had a blast. 

Each week camp has a camp pastor who does all the chapels. The kids attend a chapel service each evening after dinner. In the mornings after breakfast they attend song time, then afterwards they go to their cabins to clean up and do their "extra duty" for that day, which is different each day from cleaning the bathrooms to sweeping the chapel. Then their day starts with the skill activity, cabin time, swimming, etc. Each day everyone gets 1hr of rest time in their cabins after lunch and I'm pretty sure ALL the counselors look forward to this!  The kids are kept very busy but they have a lot of fun too all while learning God's word and spending time with other kids their age. Ben had the opportunity to lead two of the boys in his cabin to the Lord while one boy dedicated his life after chapel one evening. 

My responsibility at Camp was to be one of the Kickapoo counselors. The Kickapoo cabin is made up of all the staff kids who are not old enough to be campers. While their parents are serving, we are watching them. This year there were 9 and 6 of them were either my own children or my cousin's kids. It was fun this year because I had a lot of family there the same week. My aunt and 3 of my cousins and their families were there. In total there were 11 cousins as campers there this week! While Ben slept in the cabin he was the counselor for, I slept in the Kickapoo trailer with the 3 younger kids. We shared the trailer with another family &  the wife was the other Kickapoo counselor for the week along with the help of 2 Junior counselors. I don't have a picture of the Kickapoo's because I was being careful to not take pictures of other people's kids but trust me when I say, we stayed very busy!! 

Along with having family at camp we were also joined by a few others from our church who attended and from all reports they had a great time too. 

One thing that is great about Camp Good News is how affordable it is. But they also have a policy that they will not refuse any child who wants to attend even if the parents cannot afford to pay the fee. God has always blessed and provided for these campers through generous donors who sponsor campers each year. Also, if as a parent you serve in some capacity at camp the week your child is there, one child per parent serving goes to camp for free. The other thing that I think is so cool is that each camper has someone who commits to praying for them. At the end of the week the camper has an opportunity to write to that person and thank them for praying for their week at camp. 

Gabe and is cousin, Seth

So for our family camp was a really fun and great experience. I'm not saying we did not come home tired, we did, but we're looking forward to serving again next year and Gabe is VERY excited he'll be old enough to be a day camper! 

A Time to Answer Question 3: Do you believe in...

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

 ~Psalm 127:3

I have held off writing this post because I really didn't want to offend anyone if this topic is uncomfortable for them. But over the past few months I feel I've had to answer this question for a lot of people and am at the point where I would like to set the record straight so that people stop thinking we've got goals of becoming the next "Duggar Family". YES, we believe in birth control. I know, you wouldn't think so many would ask me this but I have to answer that question A LOT. I don't mind when it's family & friends, it doesn't offend me and I'm not so private that I feel uncomfortable answering it...especially if our experience can help another couple. But when strangers in the grocery store are asking, that's a little frightening. And trust me, they do! When I was pregnant for my 4th I was in Rite Aid and I had the 3 kids with me and an older gentlemen with his wife stopped me and asked, "you know they sell stuff to prevent that don't you?" and pointed to my very pregnant belly. I was so annoyed that I said, "Really? I had no idea, where can I find that stuff?" Then I walked away. It wasn't the most gracious response and to this day Ben and I have yet to come up with a clever way to answer strangers when they do this to us.

But when it comes down to the question, "Do you believe in birth control?" or "Does your religion believe in birth control?" then I am always happy to put the mystery to rest. First of all my "religion" is the word of God, the Bible. Period. In our years of prayer on this matter and a willingness to do whatever God asks, Ben and I have not been persuaded that it's a sin to use birth control. The Bible is not clear on the subject. And there are many people that I respect and look up to that are on both sides of the issue and I do not think one is right or wrong, we are just persuaded differently. Ben and I believe this is a decision that each individual couple must come to together after meditating on God's word and prayer. No church or Pastor should be making that decision for people. That's just my opinion. 

We always have to chuckle when someone just assumes that because we have 5 kids then we must not believe in birth control because who in their right minds would WANT 5 kids. Haha. I won't lie, we have had 3 "surprises"  and when I say that I mean they were surprises to us but definitely not to God.  He will have His way regardless of our efforts but I do believe there is wisdom in a little bit of planning. Our decision to use birth control the times that we did were not without prayer on the matter. When you have 5 babies in 6 years, that's overwhelming. It's mentally and physically challenging and especially when you live far away from family and don't really have a lot of help. After Jena was born we were so thrilled with our family but at the same time felt that we had a lot on our plates and the wisest thing for us to do was to take steps to prevent another pregnancy. I don't want to take any credit or glory away from God. He is faithful to give us what we need each day and we are so reliant on Him to help us raise this family, but that does not mean it's wrong of us to want a break from having babies. Our hearts have always been willing to raise another baby if that is what God wanted from us. I don't necessarily think the issue is whether or not couples use birth control but rather where their hearts are at in regard to what God will ask of them. 

So there you have it...the mystery is solved. And to answer the question that almost always immediately follows the birth control question...."will you guys have anymore?" our answer is, "only time will tell". Because in our efforts to "plan" our family God has done better so at this point we will continue to make decisions as wisely as we can with God's will in the forefront and a heart ready for Him to change our plans if that is what He chooses.