To Everything There Is A Season

A Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven

A blog about raising a young family and keeping Christ at the center of it.

The Cyrs

The Cyrs
Photo Credit: Rachel Dewhurst

Monday, August 4, 2014

A Time to Date

What therefore God hath joined together, let not 
man put asunder. ~Mark 10:9

Fifteen years ago, on August 3rd, a really great guy asked me to be his girlfriend. He showed up at my apartment unannounced and asked me to take a drive with him. I had been taking a nap and my hair was a mess, my clothes were frumpy but he gave me no time to change. I was confused to say the least but welcomed any opportunity to spend time with this "really great guy" so I didn't argue and got in the car.

The car was a gray, very old, VW Jetta. That part isn't so important except to say some great memories were made with that car and it still lives, in a field, at Ben's parents house. His dad always teases me that he's saving it for me. Anyway, with no explanation he drove us to a park in town. It had just started raining and he asked me to get out and come around back and open the trunk. I am not going to lie. I thought this was really strange. Here we were in the pouring rain for reasons unknown to me and I was being told to open a trunk. I've watched a few movies...scenarios like this don't usually end well.

I opened the trunk and inside was one single red rose. I was a little stunned. I didn't know what to think. You see we had been friends for a few years and we got along great. We had expressed interest in each other a year prior but one of us (it wasn't me) felt that the timing wasn't right and as far as I knew nothing had changed. Then Ben asked me if I would be his girlfriend. My answer was yes without hesitation. After, I splashed him with water from a puddle we were standing near...I can't remember why.

On our 1-year dating anniversary we celebrated with a lobster dinner in my very small, basement apartment. Every year since that time we have celebrated our dating anniversary with lobster. Ben picks it up from a fresh fish place he drives by on his way home from work. We wait till the kids are in bed...well, we used to do that. Now we wait till the babies are in bed and put a movie on for the older kids. Then we eat a quiet meal together and just talk and sometimes reminisce. We will both tell you the best decision we ever made was choosing each other. We also thank God often for bringing us to each other.

It's fun to remember back to when we first started dating. It's also fun to remember how different we were, how different our relationship was and see how much we have grown over the years. God is so gracious and I'm thankful for how He has worked in each of our lives. Having a good relationship doesn't come for free. It requires hard work and maintenance. Part of our "maintenance" is continuing to date each other. We haven't always had the extra money to go out and pay a babysitter. Some years we didn't even have a babysitter we could call. In those seasons we had to get creative but we did whatever we were able to do in order to invest in our relationship. Purposefully finding time on your calendar to have a date night is so important.

It doesn't at all feel like we have been together for 15 years and even though we've had some small ups and downs along the way I wouldn't trade these past years for anything. I pray God allows us many, many more of these anniversaries to celebrate but if his plan is otherwise and our years are shorter than we hope then at least we know we are making the most of the years he is giving us. I welcome any advice my "seasoned" readers have to help us keep our marriage alive, fresh and healthy!!!

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