A Time to Share a Big Struggle!

But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. ~I Sam.16:7

I try, I've tried, I'm trying to get back into shape & eat healthy but it has been a real tough road for me. I know I'm not alone. The fact that I have had 7 babies has nothing to do with the fact that I have not lost all my baby weight. I refuse to use that as an excuse because I am the only reason I'm not back in shape. I am the one who makes the food choices I do and I am the one who chooses how to spend my free time. I and I alone am responsible for shedding these extra pounds I have. One of my biggest pet-peeves is people who make excuses for their circumstances and behaviors...just ask my kids! The pressure I feel is the time frame in which I perceive others think I should be in shape by. A few weeks ago I overheard a couple of ladies talking. They didn't know I could hear and I was not meant to hear this but one said to the other, "Is Melissa pregnant again or is that just left over from the last one?". Wow. Yeah that hurt. For the record, I am not pregnant. I do however understand why she asked her friend. If you know my history, the time frame would be just about right for another baby to be on the way and I have really struggled after having Emma to lose that baby belly that keeps me looking about 4 months pregnant.

I do want to lose the weight. I do want to make better food choices. I do want to exercise more. What I can't do is everything .There are a lot of things I want to do but I just can't right now. The fact that I have 7 kids, 2 of them under 2, is not irrelevant. I'm busy and I'm tired...exhausted actually. The last thing I have the energy for is exercise. I know that I will get the extra weight off because I want to. What I have to allow myself though is time to breath. I am in a very busy season of life that doesn't allow me much free time at all. What I know for sure is there will come a day, a season in life when I will have more time on my hands, I will be more rested. My kids will grow up and I will be able to do a lot more of the things I want to. This is not to say that I have given up trying in this season...Jillian Michaels and I have become good friends. It just means that it's going to take me longer than other's think it should for me to get back to where I was before I had babies....or at least some semblance of that. And that has to be okay. It just does because there is only so much of me and so many hours in the day and way too many little ones needing me for it to be any other way.

If you struggle like I do then I want to encourage you and I want you to know I understand! I know how hard it is to try and raise little ones AND take care of yourself. It's hard to find a balance. Pray and ask God to give you wisdom to know where you can fit in some time for yourself. Ask your husband to pray with you and share with him how you are feeling. I'm one of the fortunate ones who has a husband who understands my need to have time to exercise so he is willing to watch the kids for an hour so I can fit in an exercise class or do a video at home. I also have to pray a lot and ask God to give me the will power to make healthy food choices....man I love my sweets!!! Ask a friend to be your cheerleader or accountability partner...this helps so much! Most importantly though you need to understand that these things don't happen over night. It takes time to get back into a routine of exercise and finally seeing those extra pounds come off...especially when you've just welcomed a new life into your family! That's okay. Give yourself a break. Just keep trying...."little by little, inch by inch!".