"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped:therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him." ~Ps. 28:7
When you are a planner, as I am, curve balls can be tough to handle. The past couple of weeks have been challenging as I try to balance life and my new adventure of going back to school. I have had to be more organized and manage my time more wisely than I ever have. And isn't it always the way that as soon as you begin to do something good, that bad things begin to happen. The enemy loves to see us get discouraged and on the verge of giving up and he has certainly tested me lately.
I was sharing with the ladies in my Bible study last week how my very first assignment was not without its glitches. Things I have never struggled being able to do on the computer all of a sudden became obstacles in me getting my work done. As a planner, my game plan has been to be one or two steps ahead throughout this whole class, so that when the unexpected happens I'm not at the last minute freaking out that I still am not done my assignment. I wanted to submit my first essay early so one evening after the younger ones were in bed and my older ones were busy working on motorcycles with their dad I decided to seize the opportunity to get it done. As I was writing the last paragraph the power went out! We were not in the middle of a rain, snow or wind storm. It was perfectly calm outside so it was confusing why it went out. We later learned that an accident had occurred up the road and took out a power line. We did not get it back that evening and by morning when I was able to turn on the computer, I found my work was not recoverable. And it hadn't been saved. So I had to start over.
Another part of my game plan is to get up early, before the kids do, to listen to my lectures uninterrupted. This morning I began listening to my lecture and shortly into it had to stop because Tess came running downstairs (at 5:30 am!). I had to explain to her that it was not wake up time and bring her back to her bed. Well, last night Jena threw up. When I walked into the room I learned she had thrown up again in the night, though in her bucket this time (thank you Lord!). I then proceeded to get the bucket cleaned up, made sure she was alright and then told them both to try and rest some more. I came back to my lecture and not long after had to stop again because the boys (being boys) managed to get into some mischief (have I mentioned my kids don't sleep?) and so I had to stop and deal with that. While I did mange to hear the entire lecture, I missed so much from all the stopping and starting that I am going to have to listen to it again.
Those are just a few things that have gotten in the way of "my plan".
I could choose to complain, whine, get angry or give up. I could make a choice to decide God is wrong and doesn't know what He is doing by sending these obstacles my way. I have decided however, to trust God. I'm not saying I do this easily though. It is something I have to purpose to do because my flesh instinctively wants to worry about the fact that all 7 of my kids could end up throwing up by the end of the week or get angry with fact that I am not as ahead as I would like to be despite all my planning. Instead I am purposing to look at all of this as "for my good" (Rom.8:28) and rely on His strength. I cannot do any of this without God's help. I need Him every hour and it is only when I make a choice to trust God rather than give into my flesh that I overcome the obstacles successfully.
God has been so good to me these past few weeks. When I lay down at night I can only think to praise Him and thank Him for what he allowed me to accomplish that day. He has been teaching me now more than ever, how to rely on His strength and it's been a precious gift amid some not so precious moments!
*I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR by Fernando Ortega