A Time to look Outward

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, 

even as also ye do. ~I Thess.5:11

Earlier this spring I wanted to come up with a way we, as a family, could reach out and minister to some folks in our church. I wanted it to be an activity that would be a blessing to not only the receiver but also us, in particular the kids. In this season of life many things we would love to do are challenging things to do. I wanted whatever we decided on to be something that was easy enough so that we would have the desire to continue with it and not look at the activity as a chore. 

What we came up with has been a really great activity and so I want to share it with you. As a family we committed to praying for and writing/drawing cards and letters of encouragement to one person each in the church throughout the summer. With no suggestions or prodding from Ben and I each of the kids, including Jena, chose one person who is in our church to write to. Ben and I also did this. The kids made their own cards and those that could write a letter did that as well, letting the person know how they were praying for them. Often Jena would pick a picture from one of her coloring books to color for her person. The response we have received from those getting our cards has been awesome. But what I love most about this activity is that it has been a way for our kids to feel more connected with people in our church and remind them that God can use them too to be a blessing and encouragement to others.

My kids would never have come up with this idea on their own. But once the idea was

established and we began putting this plan into action I did not have to force them or convince them to do this. They were very excited when the time came to sit at the table and make their cards...this was a blessing to my heart. They have also been so mindful to pray for their person. They all take turns at dinner time praying and each time they have not forgotten to include their person in their prayers. 

We are so glad we made the decision to do this and I do believe this is something that will become a summer tradition of ours. Soon enough even Tess will be joining in!

A Time to Get Some Help Around Here!

I don't have to tell you how overwhelming it can feel when house work, yard work and laundry all pile up! Whether you have no children or 10, everyone falls behind and everyone feels like the work that needs to get done around the house is too much for one person. I feel like that pretty much on a daily basis. It can be very discouraging to spend a few hours cleaning only to have it look like you didn't do anything 10 minutes later because 6 kids make a lot of mess! 

Now that we have "older kids" we have the benefit of help around the house. We don't HAVE to do it all. Part of raising kids is teaching them. Teaching them to not only work hard but how to do that work by having them work beside you. It takes a lot of time and and patience on the parents part to train kids how to do things before they get to a point where they are able to do it on their own. But in the end every parent who does it will tell you it is worth the effort. Not only for the extra help it gives us but for the character it instills in the kids.

 My kids are normal kids...they would much rather play then work. Sometimes there is something we are doing that they want to help with and get excited about but a lot of times we have to force them to help. Whining to get out of work is not tolerated and neither is complaining about the work. Teach your kids to do everything with a happy heart because in the real world there are a lot of things they will have to do that they won't like and is there anything more annoying than a whiny and complaining adult who refuses to work?! Start them young!
All the kids (except Tess of course) have their nightly chore. Noah sweeps, Owen washes the table, Gabe washes the chairs (kids get chairs SOOO dirty, I had no idea!), Will sets the table for dinner and Jena picks up the toys on the main floor before bed. This is what is expected of them nightly. Once a week they have to bring down their laundry, except Jena because she's too little to carry it down, and they have to tidy up their rooms. And no, they do not get an allowance for this. Everyone has their different opinion on this and you have to do what works for you but our opinion is that they are a part of this family and need to pitch in without expecting a reward in return. 

Then there are the extras. Things that we ask them to do when there is down time, a rainy

day or we just need the extra help. For example today it was raining and they spent a lot of the morning watching a movie and playing their DS. So I put the boys to work in the afternoon while the girls napped. They had to wash down all the walls throughout the house. This is something I like to do a couple times a year. Gabe even did all my kitchen cupboards! Just give them a bucket of water with some pine sol and some rags and they are good to go. It's an easy task and one that I particularly appreciate having get done. Now don't think I sat back and watched. I was washing the floors while they did this. The best way to teach your kids to have a good work ethic is to lead by example. If you just sit back and watch them work while you delegate they will learn to resent work and likely, you too. 
Jena has always loved helping to unload and load the dishwasher. She started this when she was 2. I keep my dishes in a lower cupboard so the kids CAN help with this and with setting the table. Everything they need is in their reach. She is super at doing this job and more than capable. Of course the boys are able to help with this too and they do sometimes. We also have them help with yard work. The other day all of us went out and weeded my flower gardens. Ben taught Gabe to safely use clippers so now he loves to clear the borders of our rock walls of unwanted small trees and weeds. One of the big jobs we have that Ben has taught Noah and Owen is piling wood. We heat with wood so every year there is wood to be piled. Last fall the two of them piled 3 chords of wood by themselves and they did a great job! Ben did pay them for this because it was a big help to him, they worked everyday after school till the job was done and they did with a happy heart. 
These are just some examples of how we have been teaching the kids to work. Are there

times we get frustrated? Yes! Are there times we think we could do it faster if they were just off playing? Yes! But we know the time we are investing in them now will only be a benefit to them in the future. I encourage you if you have not yet started training your kids to work to do so now! You will not regret it! 

A Time for a Public Service Announcement!

I don't often rant or complain but the following advice I feel will be most helpful. If not for you, then for me! I'm really not sure when the following questions became appropriate in our society but after 7 pregnancies and conversations with friends who have been pregnant I realize these are common occurrences (though some questions only happen after you reach a certain number) and I feel I have a responsibility to inform the public on their inappropriateness.

1. Can I rub your belly?

If you would not ask a woman who isn't pregnant to touch her why would you think it's ok to ask a pregnant woman? Honestly it has never tempted me to touch a pregnant woman's belly...EVER. I do not understand some people's fascination with this. Maybe some women don't mind, maybe some even HOPE you'll ask but I am not one of them. In my first pregnancy I had no idea how to handle this. I was uncomfortable but didn't want to be rude. I'm over that now. I'm not mean about it but if I don't know you I politely say no and walk away. If I know you, then usually I'll say ok...but understand that I would prefer you didn't. 

2. How much weight have you gained? (and other similar questions)

I realize we live in a society that encourages near anorexia and that doesn't seem to go away for a pregnant woman. There is a lot of pressure to only gain a few pounds and then lose it all 5 minutes after delivering. No consideration is taken as to how a woman carries, how big the baby is, etc. We should all be the same, look the same and if you managed to only gain 5 pounds I should be able to do the same too. Any woman who has been pregnant knows this is unfair and yet we judge still. I happen to be one of those people who does not gain a ton of weight during pregnancy. Part of it is that I lose so much in the beginning because I get sick and I get pregnant pretty quick after having a baby so there's always plenty of extra weight to lose. The metabolism boost of another human sucking every calorie that enters my body helps me lose weight too. If I had the metabolism I have when I'm pregnant after I deliver I'd be a stick. Even at my 32 week check up yesterday I was down a pound from my last

visit. But to look at me you would think I am lying. I've included and very unflattering picture of my very pregnant self to prove it (you're welcome!). I'm all belly and look like I've gained 50 lbs when actually I am only 1 lb heavier than I was before I got pregnant. So now that you know please stop asking me how much weight I've gained, if I'm sure it's not twins and if I'm positive the Dr.'s got my due date right. 

3. Are you done having kids?

I'm sure equally inappropriate is the question to those without kids, "when are you going to have kids?" Let me just say that when my family and close friends ask me this question it usually doesn't bother me if it's asked out of genuine wonderment rather than judgment. When the complete stranger ahead of me in the check-out line asks, yes, it bothers me. Whether or not a person is done having kids is not anyone's business. My having kids has no affect on anyone but Ben and I and the kids we already have. We take care of our own. We are not using tax-payer dollars to raise them, we don't outsource them to the grandparents or other family members-we do the work and are not burdening others to help us raise our brood. So really whether or not we will have more should be of no concern to anyone. And it's really no use asking us because we have no idea anyway if we are done or not so usually our answer is vague and uncertain. 

4. How big is your house?

Are you surprised this is even on the list? I am! This pregnancy is the first one where both Ben and I have EVER been asked this question...and on multiple occasions. To me it's in the category of questions like, "how much money do you make?" or "how much did you pay for

your house?". Most people have the etiquette to know you just don't ask those questions. Each time I've been asked I've not been sure what to say. I still don't know what to say. I find it such a strange question to ask. First of all whether or not a house is "big" is usually a subjective thing. What is big to one might not be to another. All I can say is there is room for all of us.

5. You know what causes that right?

Ok so you know the list wouldn't be complete if I didn't add that question because you KNOW we are hearing it often. Just about every time we leave the house. When people say it to try and be funny, I'll laugh along and be a good sport. It's the ones who say it to imply we have been irresponsible that really bother us. And truly more often than not that is the way the question is being presented to us. I don't get nearly as upset about it as Ben does. If there is anything that bothers him its this question! So without exhausting the subject I'll end it with this tip: Its inappropriate to imply ANY pregnancy should not have happened and could/should have been prevented. For a long time I struggled with just the right way to answer...till yesterday. I was reading a blog and the woman had a list of clever answers to this question. My favorite: "yes we do and now I make sure to wash our underwear separately!". LOVE IT! Just don't know I'd have the guts to actually say it!

So there you have it. My list of inappropriate questions to ask a pregnant lady. I'm sure there are others that many of you have encountered...and I'd love to hear them. 

A Time to Persuade

I am not a dog person. Never have been and I don't think I ever will be. We never had a dog growing up, only cats. I used to be a cat person but since having kids I've become a non-pet person. I like animals...other people's animals. I guess I just feel like taking care of 6 kids is work enough that I don't want the added responsibility of feeding and training an animal too. Plus Ben is allergic to cats so even if we wanted one we wouldn't be able to have one. 

That being said, I have a 9-year-old who adores dogs. Just loves them. He has since he was very young. So it was of no surprise to me that when Noah came home with a persuasive paper he had to write in school that it was written to me trying to persuade me that he should get a dog. It is very well thought out and written in beautiful cursive. It goes as follows: 

Dear Mom,
I want a dog because I won't be hurting any of my brothers. Instead I will be playing with my dog. It will make me more responsible. It's a good idea because you won't be doing any of the work, (dogs don't eat lunch). I'll feed him in the morning and at supper. I'll take him for walks. I'll tie him up before he's trained. 
I want a dog because none of my brothers are dogs. Please let me have a dog. I'll play with my brothers most of the time. I deserve a dog because I've gotten good grades, obeyed you and dad and all my babysitters. I haven't hurt any of my brothers for a long time. I'll pay most of the money! I'll clean the living room and the play room. I'll clean my room without you asking. I'll do the dishes for you. I won't have a bad attitude if I get one.

Your cute son,
Noah

How adorable is that! Do you have any idea how heart breaking it was to tell him he's still not getting a dog?! 

A Time for a 12-passenger van...or not?

Oddly enough one of the first things that went through our minds after finding out I was pregnant again was, "What will we drive??!!". After getting over the initial shock of course. When we purchased our Yukon just over 2 years ago we had the 5 kids with no plans for more. When surprise blessing #6 was on the way we thought, "oh cool, we've filled up our truck, no extra seat anymore". When we found out about surprise blessing #7 we had no idea what we were going to do. Here's our dilema...

1. We live in the woods on a dirt road that the town does not maintain. It is the responsibility of the few residents that live on it to maintain it. We pay for plowing, etc. but you really need 4-wheel drive (a feature most 12-passenger vans do not come with) if you want to be guaranteed to get out everyday in the winter. Ben gets out with his car but he has studded snow tires and chains in his trunk...we don't fit in a car anyway so that's not an option for us. :)

2. Our garage is only so big. The height of a 12-passenger van is taller than our garage so if we decided to get one of those then it would need to stay parked outside...really defeating the purpose of having a brand new garage. I'm pretty spoiled now and love the fact that I never have to clean snow off my vehicle or trudge through snow with all the kids to get to it.

3. Having just bought the Yukon (you can read all about that here: How God Provided) not too long ago we really were not in a position to buy a new vehicle...and we really don't want to because we love the Yukon! 

4. And lastly...I just don't want to drive a van that size! I admit it. When we spent 4 months in WA state, shortly after our 3rd was born, for Ben's work the rental car company was out of SUV's and the only vehicle large enough to accommodate our family size and all the luggage & baby gear we had was a 12-passenger van. So that is what we drove for our time out there. Ben loved it. I'm not sure if it was the van he liked so much or the fact that it was brand new and we've never had a brand new vehicle in our lives! Anyway, I did not like it. I found it really intimidating to drive. I know I would get used to it but I just don't want to...unless I absolutely have to! 

So when you consider all these things what do you do? Friends of ours began telling us of this website called "Little Passengers" that will custom make seats and benches specifically for SUV's. You give them your make and model and they customize it to fit. So we looked into it. What we read and learned we liked. It seems like the perfect solution to our transportation issue. While it is costly considering you are just buying a seat, it's cheaper than buying a new vehicle and the seat can be taken out and put into a new vehicle of the same model should you decide in the future to buy a new one. Yes we will lose our cargo space in the back but thankfully we have a roof carrier that my aunt & uncle gave us to put luggage when we travel as well as a covered u-haul style trailer they gave us. We take the trailer anyway when camping because we just can't fit all the gear we need otherwise. So traveling will not be an issue. It is not purchased yet, however. We will wait till the baby is here to do that. I am not a pessimist but a realist and the realist me (that should say "us" because Ben and I are both the same when it comes to this) says wait because even though things are going well and you and baby are healthy anything can happen between now and then. It's a lot of money to spend if you end up not needing it. So I will let you know once we get it and have used it for awhile what we think. For now though I'm excited about it and thankful we have this option. For a little bit longer I can avoid driving a 12-passenger van! 

A Time for Singing

O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. ~Psalm 95:1

There is always singing or music playing in this house. Having a husband who is very musical and loving music myself its rare there isn't a cd playing, instrument playing or voice singing. I am the first to admit that I have a terrible voice but thankfully the only thing God requires of me is to "make a joyful noise". In turn we spend a lot of time teaching our kids songs and hymns, we usually sing 3 or 4 after family devotions together. The thing about our kids though is outside the confines of this house they are very shy to sing for people. One of our good friends who is the song leader at church is one of the few who knows their willingness to sing because they are like family. One evening at church he prepared a song with the boys and him to sing for our church family. He managed to get 3 boys up there...Owen was having nothing to do with it! :) He's our extremely shy one. So for our family and friends who miss out on this part of our kids lives here are a few videos. They are not professional singers by any means but they do understand the joy that comes from singing praises to God! Click on the underlined links and they will take you to the you tube video. Enjoy. :)

1-2-3 Jesus Loves Me: Will & Jena
If you are not familiar with this song the last line is "9,10 it's time to end there's no time to sing it again" and Ben always does this part with the kids in a crying, sad voice...

Daniel Was a Man of Prayer: Gabe
This was when Gabe was 4 so about 2 years ago.

Showers of Blessings: The 5 older ones
Jena was not in the mood for singing when we did this but often
you will hear her walking around the house singing this song.

My God is So Great
Will is SO loud. He loves to sing and if he knows the song well
he lets it all out! :)

A Time for "I love you because..."

This year for Mother's Day Ben had the kids write down reason's why they love me on small pieces of paper. One side said, "I love you because..." and the other side was for them to fill out. It was then presented to me in a jar on Mother's Day. I loved the thoughtfulness in the gift, the planning ahead and time that was involved, but mostly I loved some of the answers they gave! Ben said he didn't have to prod or give ideas even with Jena...that is what made these especially funny I think. This had me smiling and laughing and I know it's something I will enjoy looking back on in the years to come...enjoy!

"you think of good ideas which make me happy"-Owen

"I love mom!"-Jena
             

"you always turn on the radio in my room"-Will


"you are my mom"-Noah           

"You take care of me & my problems"-Gabe

"You feed me every morning"-Noah

"You take care of me when I am sick"-Owen

"You bring money to the dollar store"-Gabe

"You pick out my clothes, especially my shorts & t-shirt"-Will

"You find my tag blanket"-Jena

"You love me"-Noah

"You sign me up for soccer"-Owen

"You let me play outside"-Will

"You brush my hair gently"-Jena

"You get me cool stuff for Christmas, like in my stocking"-Noah

"You bring me to the beach"-Gabe

"When I cough sometimes you bring me to the Dr.'s"-Will

"You get me glasses"-Noah

"You get me cool things for my b-day like an RC car (but I actually can't remember if you are the one who got me that)-Owen

"The Bible tells me so"-Jena ( Ben has a side note that says, "she said this for real!")

"You feed me tasty-Oh's"-Owen

"You put me to bed...yes, I like going to bed"-Gabe

"You bring me to Walmart"-Will

"You give me milk"-Jena

"You do absolutely everything for me"-Tess (via dad!)

"You're my mom and you understand my problems"-Noah

"You get me hot lunch"-Gabe

"You bring me to VBS"-Owen

"You let me sleep "a little bit"-Will

"You bring me to church"-Jena

"You help me with my homework"-Noah

"You let me watch some of Star Wars & get me Star Wars things"-Owen

"You got out clothes I haven't worn in a long time"-Gabe

"You let us play wii when we want to play"-Will