A Time for a Valentine's Day Challenge

With Valentine's Day approaching I have to assume "love" is on all our minds. Valentine's Day isn't a big holiday in this house.It's not that we are against it or anything it's just never been a holiday we go all out for. Thankfully I have a husband who is very good at showing his love everyday and it's not with anything he can buy. He shows us he loves us by working hard and providing for us, he shows me he loves my by forcing me out of the house to get a break or doing a night feeding and he shows the kids he loves them by investing time doing things with them. While I don't think we should need a holiday to show our family we love them, it is a nice excuse to do something extra special for them...whatever that may look like for your family.

With love in mind and thinking about how I feel loved I wanted to set some time aside and look outside of our family and do something for others...to remind them they are loved and thought about. For myself, while gifts are nice and always appreciated, I feel most loved when people go out of their way for me. When they set time aside that I know is valuable and do something for or with me. So we sat down and used time that was valuable to us and set it aside to make Valentine's for some special people in our lives. Time is not only valuable its limited so we didn't have time to make some for everyone but we did choose a few people who we felt led to do something special for. Having found a really cool necklace making kit at a ridiculously low price and since my kids do not get to see their cousins often we thought it would be nice to remind them they are loved so I had each of the boys make a necklace for each of the girl cousins. Jena even made one for my mom (who is recovering from knee replacement surgery) and my sister who lives in CA. They also made Valentines Day cards. I'm so thankful that I have kids who never grumble about sitting down and making cards or gifts for others. They are so sweet when it comes to this and usually want to continue and making cards for people who were not originally on the list.

I hope by doing little activities like this with the kids that we are instilling in them the ability to look beyond themselves and what they want or need and instead become focused on the needs of others. It is so easy when holidays roll around to think about ourselves. What I want, what I need, what I want to get out of it. I hope to train myself and our kids to instead think about what someone else needs and who we might encourage or bless. I want to encourage you this Valentine's Day to go out of your way to show someone you care, someone who maybe could use an extra dose of love. We all have seasons in life where we feel down and not as loved as we did last year or our circumstances change in such a way that we feel alone. Try to be sensitive to those around you and their circumstances and think about being that blessing to them. Think about going out of your way and being that person who makes them feel extra special loved this Valentine's Day...even if it's only for one day. I can almost guarantee the feeling of love it brings them will last well past a day!

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, 

but by love serve one another. ~Gal. 5:13

A Time to be Organized: Intro

"Let all things be done decently and in order" ~I Cor. 14:40

There are not a lot of things that I feel I am able to say I am good at. God did not bless me with multiple talents, at least not the kind that are noticeable like singing, drawing, playing an instrument, etc. You will hardly ever catch me "tooting my own horn" because there really is no horn to toot! One thing I can say confidently is that I am an organized person. Whether that is considered a talent is totally up to you but I do think it is a gift that is not given to everyone. I know this because I hear a lot of people say they wish they could be more organized so I have to assume it is not something that comes easily or naturally to everyone. I cannot function in chaos or clutter. If my sink is full of dishes and my counters cluttered up I can't cook. If the living room is littered with toys and socks (is it only my house where children take off their socks and scatter them about 5 mins after putting them on?) I cannot sit there and relax. When I walk into a room I instantly see the mess...trash cans over-flowing, bureau's covered in "stuff", carpets that need to be vacuumed and the dust...of my the dust. I see it all and it instantly puts me on edge. I function at my best when everything has it's place. When the rooms are picked up. I would function even better if every room was spic and span clean but let's face it...it ain't happening as long as 9 people live here so I've learned to overlook a few things.

Over the years, as we've added more and more little people I have learned how to organize our things, and life in general, in such a way that we function like a relatively well-oiled machine. I have shared some of these ways with you in the past and I am going to revisit them as I start this series on organization. I by no means claim to be an expert. I only hope to help you if this is an area you struggle, by sharing some things that work for me. My first post on organization is about calendars. Without them I couldn't function! I wrote this post a couple years ago and after looking over it I can honestly say I do everything exactly the same still so it really has worked for us! The only change...my husband couldn't take it any longer and made me purchase a calendar that began on Sunday!

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A Time For Calendars, Calendars, Calendars!

Remember the days when our young minds could retain anything and everything and we never needed to write things down. Remember when you could recall a friends phone number without looking it up...several friends numbers in fact! Those days for me were long gone after baby number one but after baby number 5 I'm lucky to remember my own phone number let alone anyone else's. The same goes for commitments and Dr. appointments, etc. In order to keep our busy family on time and where they need to be on the right day I invested in a dry erase calendar board. These range in price and size so find one that fits your families needs. I got mine at Rite Aid I think for about $10. It's magnetic and fits on the fridge right next to the phone so as I'm making appointments and agreeing to be places I can write it down immediately. I also have a small yearly calendar that is on the fridge right next to it for appointments that are in the months to come. This is not a fool proof system (remember the story of the surprise birthday party we showed up a week early for...) but it has helped me a great deal in keeping us where we need to be and when. Now I am so dependent on my dry erase calendar that I don't know how I managed without it. I keep track of the kids school things on it, church activities, appointments and engagements. I realize that people have phones they can put this stuff into but the benefit of the dry erase calendar is that it's there for everyone to see so we all know each other's schedule and can just look at it and see what we have going on.

For my husbands benefit I have to add that if you are considering buying one consider whether or not you care what day of the week it starts with. Ours starts with Mon. as opposed to Sun. and it has thrown my husband for a loop.

***I have been asked since writing this if I color code my calendar. My answer is no. We are just too many people that it would be more confusing that way. Plus I don't think I'd find enough colors! I know some people color code their calendars for different categories. Doctors appointments are green, school related, red, and so on. I don't choose to do that but it's definitely one way to go.

A Time for the Superbowl

Now before anyone goes getting any ideas that I've decided to worship the idol of sports rather than God today let it be known that I am home sick (STILL!) with an awful head cold and two babies who are also not 100%. I did listen to a sermon on the radio, which I will say I couldn't have disagreed with more (just because they are famous preachers and on the radio doesn't mean they are always right!) and managed to spend some quiet time in prayer. Now let's get on to the business of this post...the Superbowl!

I could not care less about the Superbowl. I enjoy sports an average amount but I enjoy them more live, in person or actually playing a sport. The idea of sitting around the TV for hours watching others play sports really doesn't interest me mainly because I am the sort of person who is sitting there thinking about all the things that could be getting done. Not to mention we do not have cable so have never been able to watch it before anyway. But this year on Fox Sports you can stream it for FREE, today only, and since I have 4 boys who love any and all sports we are going to let them watch it...well some of it anyway. Since everyone else is talking about Superbowl parties and the yummy food they are making I didn't want to be left out of that part of it so I've been busy finding recipes we can enjoy while watching it...and no none of them will fit into your diet meal plan if you're on one!

On the list of foods we will enjoy today (well the rest of my family will anyway, I'm not sure I'll be up for eating much) are...

Crockpot Terriyaki Chicken

Baked Potato Casserole

Three Cheese Pinwheel Appetizer

Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark

Watermelon Frosties

...and maybe we will throw fruits and veggies into the mix at some point too!

If you will be enjoying the Superbowl today and passionately rooting for "your" team to win then I wish you the best of luck! But if you are like us and really just in it for the food then to you I say, "happy eating", and please share your recipes!

A Time to Judge Me

Things you may or may not know about me as a Mom or about my parenting....

I delivered all my babies in a hospital and home birth was NEVER an option

I had 4 of my babies naturally, 3 of my babies with an epidural, none by c-section

I ask the nurses to keep my babies in the nursery if it's not busy so I can get a full nights sleep during my hospital stay

I have bottle fed all my babies with generic brand formula

I use disposable diapers

I do vaccinate my children

I do not co-sleep and my babies have slept in cribs from day 1....on their stomach

Some of my babies are thumb/finger suckers and some take a pacifier, none have buck teeth 

I do not demand feed I schedule feed


I use the cry it out method, within reason

I introduce solids around 5 months and I do not make my own baby food

I have a zero tolerance policy for whining or throwing fits when a child doesn't get their way

I think children are most successful when boundaries, rules, consequences and rewards are a part of their lives.

I think it is important to introduce hard work and responsibility at a young age

I don't like the idea of giving kids an allowance for doing chores...so I don't

I think most parents have something to offer me no matter how many years they have been parenting or how many children they have. We can all learn from each other, even if our parenting styles are different
                           

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Now let me ask you...how many times while reading those points did you judge me for the way I choose to parent? Which one was your hot button point? Was it that I don't co-sleep? Was it that I don't use cloth diapers? Or that I vaccinate? Admit it. You read this and there were times you read something that you didn't like or agree with. And after reading all of this you judged me and made a decision about the kind of parent I am. I understand...because I've been guilty of it too at times.

For about a year now I have been so burdened for young/new moms. I receive a lot of private emails from new moms who have questions and who are looking for advice regarding the choices they should make for their child. Many new moms are so insecure about their ability to choose for themselves what is best for their children and I find this so sad. As much as I enjoy social media for its many benefits and as much as I enjoy reading blogs and reading parenting books, I find that too much of the information we have access to as moms is critical and judgmental. Every decision a parent could possibly make, from vaccinating to the kind of diaper you use, is met with opposition. There is always someone on the other side ready to shame you for your choice, ready to tell you why they are right and you are wrong. And this is also the reason why I know several moms who have either deleted their Facebook accounts all together or have seriously considered it or just plain took a break for a few months. All because the more time they spent on it the more inadequate they felt as a mom. 

I am writing this to let all you moms reading know that you do not need to seek approval from those around you regarding the choices you make for YOUR child. No one has the right to make you feel like a bad parent because you are doing things differently than they are. Find people and blogs and books that encourage you in this adventure of parenthood and even find a couple who will challenge you to be better but avoid the places and people who shame you and condemn and mock you for the choices you are making. Being a mom is hard enough so surround yourself with positive influences. Most of all, pray! Ask God to show you what HE wants you do. No one knows better than him what is best and right for your family. As wonderful as parenting books and blogs and friends can be at answering questions and encouraging you nothing will guide you better than God's own word. 

I want to leave you on this note. I enjoy blogging and sharing my thoughts with you but if I have ever been part of the problem, if I have ever made you feel badly about how you do things as a parent I apologize. My goal is not to add to the criticism out there but to encourage you. I pray that God would help me in doing that! I also want to tell you that you are doing a great job! A mom cannot hear that often enough. You really are, don't be too hard on yourself. We all have areas we need to work on but we are all doing a good job in other areas as well. Find the balance and be happy and confident in your parenting ability...and most of all enjoy the job you've been given as a mom. It's the best job out there!

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, 

and things wherewith one may edify another. ~Rom.14:19

A Time for Quiet

Right now the house is quiet...so, so quiet. It's also very early in the morning, still dark outside and still very cold in the house because the fire Ben just built before leaving for work hasn't heated up the house yet. There are very few moments in my day to day routine that are this quiet. I've gotten up, said goodbye to my husband, fed the baby, eaten breakfast, read my Bible and a few blog posts that encouraged me. I still have 35 minutes before I have to wake up the kids and it is no longer quiet in here. In the quiet I am able to think and gather my thoughts. In the quiet I am able to reflect on what God is doing in my life and with our family. In the quiet I am able to meditate on Gods word and how it applies to me today, in this moment. In the quiet I am able to find perspective.

You see when it's no longer quiet what happens is the house is filled with the stomping of feet, the sounds of sword fights, the bangs of little boys pretending to be super hero's, the high-pitched squeals of a little girl laughing because her brothers are tickling her, the coos of the baby, the loud grunts from the just 1-year old who so desperately wants to be heard but has not found the words to speak yet. Sometimes the quiet is filled with squabbles and tiffs, crying about hurt feelings, someone not sharing or someone getting hurt. The quiet is broken by the demands of 7 little people all needing their mom for one thing or another from food and diaper changes to reading a book or finding a lost toy. The quiet is interrupted by emails that need to be returned or sent, doctor appointments that need to be made or rescheduled, phone calls that need to be returned,
phone calls that should be returned but never are, deodorant and shampoo that needs to be ordered on Amazon (with prime 2-day shipping of course) because that is faster than trying to leave the house, beds that need to be changed because we seem to always be in potty training mode over here! The list goes on and the longer the list the harder perspective is to find.

This quiet time I receive is a wonderful gift from God even though at times, in the pitch black of 4:30 am and the freezing cold of winter, I do not see it as such. It's not always easy to force myself out from under the very warm covers (these days an infant in the house makes it necessary) but I am always glad I did. As hard as it is I have realized that I need this quiet time more desperately than I need sleep. Sleep is important and I make sure I get what I can but the extra time in the morning alone with God, to reflect and meditate is just as needful to my health and mental well-being as sleep is. The uninterrupted silence that allows me to plan my day or week, to look ahead about what needs to get done and find Gods direction on what my priorities should be and what I need to leave behind. The time to look back and see how I can do things differently or better or not at all! To reflect on the countless blessings I have. Yes as I sit here at the cold computer, with just a lamp to light my words, I am reminded how necessary this quiet time is!

A Time for Chip & Dip Season

Did you know chip & dip season is upon us? You didn't? Well neither did I until recently. I saw an article that was saying Velveeta was going to be in short supply. Someone then commented that it was likely a marketing scheme to get people to stock up on it as we head into chip & dip season. I'm not sure how true all this is but since chips & dip (sometimes veggies too) is my all-time favorite snack I didn't need too much proof to be convinced. So, in the spirit of "chip & dip" season, I give you my top 3 favorite dips. Enjoy!

1. Clam Dip
I'm sure my family cannot claim this as their original recipe but I grew up with this dip. Every Christmas my Memere Albert, my Matante Ann and my Dad would make it...other times of the year too. It's my number one favorite dip. Since I don't follow a recipe and eyeball all the ingredients I will do my best to give you our version of this family favorite.

You will need:
1 pkg. cream cheese
1 can minced clams (reserve the juice)
1/4 tsp of garlic powder (or more or less, do so according to taste)
1 tbs Worcestershire sauce (about 4-5 shakes of the bottle into the dip)

Put the cream cheese and a small amount of the clam juice into a mixing bowl. Beat together for a minute or so, scraping bowl. Continue to add clam juice and mix till the cream cheese is smooth. Discard remaining clam juice. I use about half the juice. For a double recipe I use one whole can's worth of juice. Now add the clams, garlic powder and Worcestershire sauce and mix well. Refrigerate for about an hour before serving. Serve with plain chips or the way my Memere always did...with Bugles.

2. Hot Crab Dip
This recipe comes from my very favorite cookbook. It was given to us as a wedding present and I use it all the time. It's called Betty Crocker's Cookbook: Wedding Edition***. I receive a lot of compliments on this dip every time I serve it and it makes my top 3 list!

You will need:
8oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 C grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 C mayo
1/4 C dry white cooking wine or apple juice
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp ground mustard
4 medium green onions, thinly sliced
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 can crab meat, drained, cartilage removed and flaked
1/3 C sliced almonds

Heat oven to 375. Mix all ingredients except crab meat and almonds in mixer till well blended. Stir in crab meat. Spread mixture in ungreased pie plate. Sprinkle with almonds. Bake uncovered 15-20 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Serve with crackers (Triscuits are my favorite) or Melba toast crackers.

3. Mexican layer dip
Because Ben and I love Mexican food but we do not like beans, I had to create my own dip that I would actually eat. I'm not going to take credit for this even though I can't find a recipe anywhere like it. I'm sure it exists somewhere though. This is a great recipe to tweak and make your own. Add or remove any ingredient you think will make it something you can enjoy! You really can't mess this up.

You will need:
8oz cream cheese
1 pkg taco seasoning mix
1/2-1 C salsa of your choice
1-2 C grated cheddar (or Mexican blend) cheese
1/2 green pepper, diced
4 green onions, thinly sliced
1 tomato, diced

Pre-heat oven to 350. In a mixer add cream cheese and taco seasoning. Mix scraping sides often till well blended and cream cheese is smooth. In an 8X8 baking dish, spread the cream cheese mixture on the bottom so that it is spread evenly. Pour Salsa over the cream cheese and spread evenly. Next, saute the peppers and onions on the stove till they are softened but not cooked through, approximately 5-6 mins. Spread the peppers and onions over the salsa. Now add the tomatoes over the peppers and onions. Spread the cheese over the veggies evenly. Bake in the oven for 20 minutes. Serve with tortilla chips.

Do you have a favorite dip you'd like to share? I'm always looking for a new one to try so go ahead and share it with us!

***Betty Crocker's Cookbook: Wedding Edition is excellent! I highly recommend giving this cookbook to a young newlywed couple as a gift. There are so many fabulous tips and suggestions in it along with practical recipes for a young family!

A Time for Birthday Parties

"Let your moderation be known unto all men. 

The LORD is at hand." Phil. 4:5

With my oldest turning 10 this month (yes, crazy!) I've had birthday parties on the brain. I think it is interesting to notice how everyone has a different take on how they do birthdays. Some of you put people like me to shame! I'll admit after seeing some of the spreads you moms put on, the guilt starts to set in, like maybe I'm not doing enough for my kids to acknowledge their day. But after 5 minutes it goes away. Because once I start remembering that I'm not just planning one or two birthdays I'm planning seven, I quickly remember why it is I don't go all out for birthdays. My reasons go something like this:

TIME:  I have a few kids. Whatever precedent we set for how birthdays will be celebrated needs to be consistent across the board. If I decide I'm going to be that mom who goes all out planning a birthday party I need to think about the time that is involved with that. Then I need to multiply it by 7...because that is how many times I'm going to be doing it. That is time I just don't have. I mean have you seen some of these birthday parties???? Handmade banners, fancy cupcakes, DIY party favors, themed games, and on and on. Just visit Pinterest and you'll see what I'm talking about. Or maybe you've attended a few yourself. Of course you can buy a lot of these things pre-made an save yourself the work, save yourself some time but that comes with a price tag, which leads me to....

COST: It is expensive to throw a birthday party. Even if you make everything yourself, buy everything on clearance (because you've had the theme planned out for the past 11 months and hit every clearance shelf you encountered) and have it at home, it still costs money. I would say a modest, low-budget birthday party costs what, $100? Ok, now I just have to multiply that by 7. Am I willing to spend $700/year just on decorations, party favors and cake??? No, sorry, I'm not. Imagine the parties where a place is rented out, lunch is served, and activities are prepared. You're talking some serious cash. I know I've attended birthday parties where I am almost certain the party favors we took home cost more than the gift I gave! To me that is insanity! Leading me to my next point....

SANITY: Do you know how crazy I would get if I was planning 7 themed birthday parties a year? I know myself and I can get really caught up in planning parties...I love to plan parties. Its not my lack of desire that keeps me from the all out birthday bash. I have so much to do that if I added birthday party planning to my list I know it would send me over the edge.I would obsess over the perfect theme, just the right party favors and games. I'd be on Pinterest day and night searching for the latest and greatest birthday trends. I'd feel the need to be at the stores constantly to see what's on sale and stressing over whether or not to make the cake myself (rarely a good idea) or buy one and if I'm going to buy one am I a bad mom if I go with Shaw's or does it have to come from a fancy bakery? You see what I mean?

EXCESS:  Also, I really don't like the idea of inviting 10 or so friends to a birthday party, every single year, for every child. First, all those families feel the burden of bringing a gift. Not everyone has it in their budget to provide a gift, and you know yours is not the only party they are being invited to. Its hard enough at times to just provide for your own family! Second, children do not need to be receiving 10 or so toys, most of which they will tire of in a week, on top of what they are already receiving from their family. Even if you tell people the gift is not necessary, you know they are going to bring one because that's what you do at birthday parties. Wouldn't it be cool if  parents had their kids choose a charity or two that families could give to instead of bringing a gift? 

Basically this is what it boils down to. Like the holidays, we tend to keep birthday's modest. We feel that our money is better spent being used toward an experience or outing for the child rather than on a big birthday party. Activities like going to a theme park, museum, movie theater, etc. are things I would much rather spend my money on since we just don't have it in our budget to do these things every weekend. The only time this is different is for the 1st birthday. This is my FAVORITE birthday. I don't know why, maybe because I'm just so proud of us for surviving another year of taking care of an infant but I love them and do plan a theme and invite family. The other time this will be different is for a milestone birthday, but even then it's low-key compared to what many do!

In our family we look at birthday's as an opportunity to make that individual feel like the day is all about them...because in a big family it very rarely is ever about any one person. It can't be. And I just don't feel the big birthday bash is necessary to accomplish this goal. What I will do is let them choose their favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner and make that for them...within reason. I let them choose the kind of cake they want and the theme. Sometimes I make it or sometimes I buy it...from Shaw's! I also will buy paper plates and napkins to go with the theme to eat dinner on. We ask them what they would like to do that day and try to make it happen...again, within reason. If my family is able to come down, which they are VERY good about doing, then that is the party. If it's their birthday they don't have to do their chores for that day and usually they are allowed to stay up a little later than everyone else. These things may seem small but to my kids these are big things that make them feel special.

Everything we do for our kids is a teachable moment and helps shape the kind of individual they will become. We really feel teaching our kids moderation at a young age is invaluable, especially when we live in a world where the philosophy seems to be "the more the better". As cliche as it sounds, we really believe "less is more" and that is the approach we take when it comes to birthday's...and life in general.

So, how do you celebrate?