A Time to Pray for Change

'Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.' ~Jos. 1:9

The end of the school year is coming upon us and for most of us it is a welcomed sight! No more packing school lunches, making sure homework is done, activities slow down (theoretically) and we can look forward to the lazy days of summer. I don't know how you feel, but I love having my children home for the summer. It’s with the end of the year approaching that I have been thinking about public school, its students and our teachers a lot.

We hear and read so many articles about 'public school' and these days most of them are not singing it's praises. I've written before about the "why" we put our kids in public school and what some of the misconceptions are with regard to God being in the school. (Link: A Time for Public School.) While I do believe what I wrote in that post is still relevant and needs to be understood, there are so many other things that have people abuzz these days with regard to public school. I am not interested in getting into the issues of public school. The majority of us know what they are. Some people have an accurate understanding of what is going on and others are very misinformed and have a skewed understanding. To this, I will only say that if you are genuinely concerned for public school and the welfare of the student's then please, find articles from unbiased sources. Don't just go looking for articles from sources that support your negative thinking of public school; be willing to hear the other side.

There are innocent victims in this war on public school. The teachers who give of themselves sacrificially to teach our children because they DO care become casualties of this war. A couple news articles about teachers who do harmful things to students or who have off-base ideas about education are not the norm and we need to have sense enough to recognize that. The majority of teachers are teachers for all the right reasons. Every time we make a choice to put down public school we are doing so much more than criticizing our Government and the curriculum they've chosen. We are criticizing every teacher and every student and every family who make up these public schools. We are making a choice to speak negatively about a career that thousands of people have spent their lives devoted to. And when I say devoted I mean DEVOTED. Unless you witness firsthand what a public school teacher has to go through when these changes arise and the tears of frustration they shed over what they know is detrimental to the students learning and yet they stick around because they truly love the kids then you have no idea how hurtful  negative attitudes toward public school are. 

The other victims are the students themselves. Do you think they care about words like 'Common Core'? No they don't. They just want to go to school, make some friends, learn some stuff and have fun. Every time we criticize public school we are putting down these innocent students....who are remarkable children by the way. Christians, I would ask that you stop speaking as though children in the public school are bad kids and will negatively influence your dear innocent children. You do realize your own child has a sin nature just like every other child and could just as easily negatively influence the public school kids, right? And how do you know that a public school child won't POSITIVELY influence your child?  Parents need to understand this and stop instilling the idea that as Christians we should fear the public school and those within its walls.

My heart is burdened for public school; don't misunderstand. I know things are seriously wrong with our education system and I know our Government does not have the best interest of our children in mind. I also know that change does not happen by running away in fear. Many of the people who are speaking out in anger over what is going on in our schools sadly are doing only that; talking. It takes a whole lot more than talking badly about something to turn things around. 

To end I'd like to offer some advice from a family who is in the trenches: PRAY. Instead of criticizing people for keeping their kids in the school use that energy and pray for our public schools, its teachers, the students and their families. Pray for our Government and the leaders implementing these changes. PRAYER most certainly changes things so let’s take that negative energy being directed at the public school and turn it into positive energy by praying for change. Also, if you happen to come across a teacher this summer, THANK them for their willingness to invest in America's future.

***To my fellow Christians who are in the trenches with us, here is a book recommendation for you. I have gleaned valuable information from it!****

Going Public:Your Child Can Thrive in Public School 

Things Don't Always Go as Planned!

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped:therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him." ~Ps. 28:7

When you are a planner, as I am, curve balls can be tough to handle. The past couple of weeks have been challenging as I try to balance life and my new adventure of going back to school. I have had to be more organized and manage my time more wisely than I ever have. And isn't it always the way that as soon as you begin to do something good, that bad things begin to happen. The enemy loves to see us get discouraged and on the verge of giving up and he has certainly tested me lately.

I was sharing with the ladies in my Bible study last week how my very first assignment was not without its glitches. Things I have never struggled being able to do on the computer all of a sudden became obstacles in me getting my work done. As a planner, my game plan has been to be one or two steps ahead throughout this whole class, so that when the unexpected happens I'm not at the last minute freaking out that I still am not done my assignment. I wanted to submit my first essay early so one evening after the younger ones were in bed and my older ones were busy working on motorcycles with their dad I decided to seize the opportunity to get it done. As I was writing the last paragraph the power went out! We were not in the middle of a rain, snow or wind storm. It was perfectly calm outside so it was confusing why it went out. We later learned that an accident had occurred up the road and took out a power line. We did not get it back that evening and by morning when I was able to turn on the computer, I found my work was not recoverable. And it hadn't been saved. So I had to start over.

Another part of my game plan is to get up early, before the kids do, to listen to my lectures uninterrupted. This morning I began listening to my lecture and shortly into it had to stop because Tess came running downstairs (at 5:30 am!). I had to explain to her that it was not wake up time and bring her back to her bed. Well, last night Jena threw up. When I walked into the room I learned she had thrown up again in the night, though in her bucket this time (thank you Lord!). I then proceeded to get the bucket cleaned up, made sure she was alright and then told them both to try and rest some more. I came back to my lecture and not long after had to stop again because the boys (being boys) managed to get into some mischief (have I mentioned my kids don't sleep?) and so I had to stop and deal with that. While I did mange to hear the entire lecture, I missed so much from all the stopping and starting that I am going to have to listen to it again.

Those are just a few things that have gotten in the way of "my plan".

I could choose to complain, whine, get angry or give up. I could make a choice to decide God is wrong and doesn't know what He is doing by sending these obstacles my way. I have decided however, to trust God. I'm not saying I do this easily though. It is something I have to purpose to do because my flesh instinctively wants to worry about the fact that all 7 of my kids could end up throwing up by the end of the week or get angry with fact that I am not as ahead as I would like to be despite all my planning. Instead I am purposing to look at all of this as "for my good" (Rom.8:28) and rely on His strength. I cannot do any of this without God's help. I need Him every hour and it is only when I make a choice to trust God rather than give into my flesh that I overcome the obstacles successfully.

God has been so good to me these past few weeks. When I lay down at night I can only think to praise Him and thank Him for what he allowed me to accomplish that day. He has been teaching me now more than ever, how to rely on His strength and it's been a precious gift amid some not so precious moments!

*I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR by Fernando Ortega

A Time for Changes, New Chapters and Much Prayer!

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man 

availeth much."  ~James 5:16b

Our lives get so busy don't they? At the beginning of each month I start making out my calendar and usually it's not filled in too much and I think it's possible to have a quiet month. It doesn't take long before those days slowly fill up with stuff though and before I know it the days get fuller and fuller. I've written before about the importance of having wisdom when it comes to commitments and not becoming so busy that you no longer have family time. This is not what I am talking about. I'm talking about the things that can't be avoided...a visit from family, appointments at the doctor, meetings, a birthday here and there, dump runs, yard work, date night! All things that are good and some necessary to do and all things that slowly fill up the calendar.

Over the years I have found myself daily praying for wisdom. Not just wisdom in raising my children (which is SO important and something we all need to be doing) but wisdom for the day to day. I'm so thankful for the verse in James that says, " If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." I don't know about you but Ben and I need a LOT of wisdom when it comes to raising this family and navigating life and it brings us so much comfort to know that God wants to give it to us in abundance if we just ask!

One bit of wisdom that God gives and is so helpful in navigating life is the verse in Proverbs that says, "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established (15:22)." There are so many times in life when we have decisions to make; big decisions or small they all require thought, wisdom and time to seek out God's will in the matter. One way that God helps us is by the people he puts into our lives who maybe have had to make a similar decision and can help us by offering insight that we haven't thought of. Sometimes they have just been around long enough and have seen people in similar situations make a mistake that had big consequences and they can warn us or they can be a prayer warrior for us as we are making the decision. It is so foolish of us when we let pride get in the way instead of using the wisdom God has put right in front of us: His Word and His people!

It is because of this that I turn to you, my readers (thanks btw...you have no idea what a blessing you are!) and ask for prayer. Life has been and is getting very busy. It is a good kind of busy as we see the Lord working but I have never felt more inadequate as I have recently. I am thankful that God chooses to use our family when He does but it is such a humbling feeling when He does. Who am I? God certainly does not need me to accomplish His will and yet, thankfully, He sets aside a small part for me to fulfill. I'm excited and impatient at the same time, to see what the future has for our family but we certainly need all the wisdom God has to offer us as well as the "multitude of counsellors". We also need prayer warriors and while I know we have several I also know we can't have too many! If you would take the time, when the Lord puts our family on your hearts, to pray for some of the specific needs below we would appreciate it so much! Don't forget to scroll down and learn about a HUGE prayer God answered for us!


Please Pray!

Photo Credit: Kristina O'Brien
Photography

* I begin taking classes on Monday as I work toward a diploma in Biblical Counseling. I need prayer for good retention of information, time management ability and direction as I choose my next classes.

* We need wisdom for a decision that we are in the process of making. I'm not able to give details at this time but know that your prayers would be so much appreciated. We want the Lord to be clear and close the door if it's not His will. We do not want to force God into any decision for our family and want to be sure of His will in this matter.

* I was recently asked to speak at a ladies banquet in June. Please pray the Lord would give me wisdom to know what He wants me to touch upon. This is one of those "who am I?" moments. I'm humbled by the request and want to make sure that any words I speak that day are of the Lord and not of me.

* Ben's position at work changed recently and while it is going very well for him it still has a bit of a learning curve. Pray for him that he would have wisdom and a good testimony before his peers and that God would continue to teach him what He needs to do this job well.

* That as a family we would purpose to "Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (Eph.6:11)

***Praise***

With the changes for Ben at work came new hours, meaning he gets home a bit later than he did before. We, along with two other ladies, hold a Good News Club in our kid’s school on Friday afternoons; we just finished up our 6th year. In all those years, Ben has been the Bible story teacher but with the changes it looked like he would no longer be able to do that. When he first took the position he went to his new supervisor and explained the situation and was told that he could leave early on Friday's to finish out this year. We were still unsure about next year. We took to our faithful prayer warriors and asked that they pray for Ben to be able to continue leaving early on Friday's to teach, but if that would not be allowed, for God to provide someone different and make it clear who that someone should be. Two weeks ago, Ben went to his supervisor again and they discussed it. Without hesitation his boss told him he could leave early every Friday next year to continue teaching Good News Club! This is such a huge praise and we could not be happier with the way God answered. We are grateful to those who committed to praying about this with us. Your prayers were answered!

A Time for "Happy Cupcake"

"But the very hairs of your head are all numbered." 

~Matt. 10:30

I've been doing some organizing, purging and cleaning the past couple of weeks because it was desperately needed. I just did this in the fall and yet we still seem to be over run with STUFF! I came across a few things that needed to be put into the kids memory boxes and as I was looking through Tess' something struck me as funny. Her first phrase awhile back was, "Happy cupcake!" Don't ask me why, other than the girl is obsessed with food. The first thing she says when she wakes up in the morning is, "food?" and it's what she says upon getting up from her nap, and what she says riding in the car...you get the point. In her memory box I found the knitted hat that she was given at the hospital the day she was born. Our hospital has dear ladies who knit hats for the babies and make blankets for them. Tess' hat looks like a cupcake! I had forgotten about that and just started laughing when I saw how perfect it was for her. We could never have known then that her first phrase would be "happy cupcake" and yet the Lord knew. I love how he cares about details like that. Those little, seemingly insignificant things really make me smile. It's easy to see God when he's doing big things in our lives and think, "Wow, I'm so blessed". The big things are great and I am thankful for how God works them out but I am especially thankful when I see God in the smallest of things.
It's hard to see God in the smallest of things when we are too busy to stop and recognize it. I know He's there always, in every detail and yet so many times I miss the blessing He is trying to give me because I'm so focused on a task or my plan. How many times have I missed the blessing? I'm afraid to say, too many times. The God who cares about every hair on my head, certainly cares about the little things in my life and too often I forget about that. The simple task of putting something away in my daughter's memory box reminded me that I need to stop and see God in the little things because I'm missing out on too many blessings! I'm thankful that God can use the mundane in my life, like cleaning, to speak to me. He really does meet us right where we are at and if the only place He can get my attention is at the kitchen sink or in the attic as I sort clothes then that is where He'll meet me. I suspect though, that He would prefer to meet me in a place that is less busy and hectic and I'm thankful for this reminder today. To slow down and stop and really HEAR God. I needed to be reminded to consult God and let Him lead my day, not in the big things, that's easy to do but in the little, mundane things...because it's HIS plan and not mine that I should be focused on.

***TIP***

On the subject of keeping memories for our kids I thought I would share what I do. I'm not overly sentimental. I don't save every scrap of paper my kids doodle on or every word they write. I have heard the idea of taking digital photos of your kids work and then saving it on a disk. I think that is such a great idea and if I was a sentimental person, I would totally do this! What I do is I buy a photo box (the kind you can get for $2 at a craft store) when my child is born. In it I keep things I think will be cool to have in the future and cool for them to look at like the hat they are given at birth from the hospital, their hospital band (to show them just how small they really were) and school papers. My favorite things to save from school are the Kindergarten and 1st grade writing papers. The progression is so neat to see and the sentence topics usually crack us up! Class pictures and report cards are another thing I save. Sometimes I will keep drawings or something written but really I don't keep a ton of that stuff because the way my kids draw and write I'd need two storage bins a piece to contain it all! As it is I'm running out of room to store my little shoe box sized memory boxes (a high shelf in one of the closets has worked well for this). Also I keep a journal. I was never good at filling in baby books...not
even with my first one. So shortly after Noah was born and I realized this about myself I decided to instead buy a journal and write about his progress every few months. Little did I know then that I'd have 7 books to write in so the "every few months" part is more like once or twice a year but it still keeps a good record of the major things and I think it's something they will look forward to reading! I plan to give them their book on their 16th birthday.

What do you do to preserve memories without the memories overtaking your space?

A Time for Distracted Driving

Since April is Distracted Driving Month I decided to spend a little time talking about it. This topic is one of my "don't get me started" topics. We all have one or seven of those and this is one of mine, especially cell phone use and driving.

Almost 8 years ago Ben and I were out in Washington State for 4 months for his job. We had our 3 boys at the time and I was expecting boy #4. I still remember where I was sitting when I received an email from a family member informing me that a girl who I had grown up with was killed in a car accident in my home state. She was on her cell phone with a client and when she bent down to pick it up she lost control of her car and crashed. I had not had the opportunity to know Heather as an adult. I still remembered her as the little girl who lived across the street and who I would see in the summers swimming in the lake and playing on the beach because our families' camps were next to each other. I remember feeling so sad that her sweet life was cut so short and I remember the heartache I felt for her parents and brother, who I knew had to be devastated. Since her death her mother has worked tirelessly to raise awareness for distracted driving. While the awareness that has been created because of Heather's accident is good, it could never replace having Heather here, which of course is what anyone would prefer. Because of Heather's story and because of her mother, Judy, I have learned to never have my phone out when I am driving. I shared with Judy once that every time I hear my phone ring or the ding of a text coming in I always, always think of Heather and pray for her family. In order to be sure that the curiosity of who is trying to get a hold of me doesn't get the better of me I keep my cell phone in a small, zippered pouch inside my purse. This way there is no way I can easily fish it out. If I want to see who is calling that badly I force myself to pull over and stop the vehicle before even looking at my phone. I don't just do this for the safety of me and my children, I do it for the safety of those around me. I wholeheartedly repeat Judy's message, "Please put your cell phones away while driving"!

We all know that there are so many other ways we can be distracted behind the wheel. Before cell phones we'd often hear of someone loosing control of their car because they were fiddling with the radio station buttons. There will always be something there to distract us while driving, which is why we have to train ourselves to be vigilant drivers. One of the main distractions I have is the kids. It's a rare day I am driving and don't have the kids with me and I can't tell you how many times they ask me to look at something they are doing while I'm driving. It takes kids awhile to grasp the concept that when a parent is driving they can't be catering to their needs!  A simple thing like training your children to amuse themselves in the car, and not need you to meet a million needs while you are driving is helpful. I am always saying to my kids, "guys, mom is driving and I can't help you right now. You need to wait patiently until I park the car." If your child absolutely needs your help right away then pull over. Those extra minutes added onto your trip because you have to pull over could not only save you and your children's lives but those of the drivers around you.

I often wonder what is going through the minds of people who allow themselves to be distracted while they are driving whether it is because they are on their cell phones or because a woman is putting her make-up on (believe it or not there are enough accidents caused by this that it's a statistic!). Does it ever cross their minds that they could seriously hurt themselves or someone else? I realize we all wish we had a few extra hours in the day and we feel the need to multi-task but multi-tasking behind the wheel comes with risks so high I wonder why anyone takes them. I could not live with myself if I caused harm to someone or their loved one because I made a choice to be distracted rather than mindful when I was behind the wheel. We hear so much about teenagers getting into accidents because they were driving carelessly and we wonder why? If the adults aren't even setting the right example before them how can we expect them to perform any better? I can only be responsible for myself and I know that it is important to me that my children see me driving as carefully as I can, eliminating all the distractions that are within my control because this is the kind of drivers I want them to be.

So in light of April being Distracted Driving month, please help raise awareness and help save lives. If you are on the phone with someone and you know they are driving while they are talking to you, hang up with them and tell them to call you when they are no longer behind the wheel or pulled over and parked. One thing Heather's mom always says is how thankful she is it wasn't her Heather was speaking to on the phone when she crashed. Judy and her husband Rick, long before Heather's accident had taught their children to not be on their phones while driving and would refuse to talk to them if they knew they were driving. Teach your teens that if they are in the car with someone who is driving distracted to ask them to stop whatever it is they are doing because they don't feel safe. If the friend refuses tell your kids to get out of that vehicle and call you or someone they trust for a ride.  I don't know about you but I'd rather be sore with aching legs from walking 5 miles than end up dead. Think I'm exaggerating or overreacting? Watch a few distracted driving videos on YouTube....but not on your phone....while driving! I keep my "Maine Remembers Heather" magnet on my fridge to be reminded of what can happen if we don't drive carefully. It has also opened up dialogue with our children about who Heather was, why Maine remembers her and how important it is to drive responsibly.

****April 2nd is also Autism Awareness Day. Light it up blue for Autism. Heather Dawn was on the phone with a client's mother when she had her accident. Her client was Liam and he had Autism. Because of this Judy has created the The Heather and Liam Connection to help raise awareness and help for Autism. Take a minute to click on the link and see all the work they are doing and if you feel so led, make a donation!***

A Time for a Budget Friendly Make-Over

Over February vacation I began the task of giving our playroom a make-over. A funny thing has happened...my kids are growing up! For many years the finished room in our basement served us well as a place where all of the kids could play and I didn't worry about the mess...too much. Since the girls share two rooms and have plenty of room for their toys I decided to weed out the toys that the boys no longer play with and switch the room into more of a game room. I was working with a $500 budget so I had to be thrifty and search for bargains to make my money go as far as possible. This is one of those room make-overs that is ACTUALLY budget friendly. 

To start I needed to paint the walls. I know a dark color seems like an odd choice for a basement room that has minimal day-light but I wanted a color that would hide the marks and scratches; my kids can be really rough on walls! The carpet in this room is the carpet that was there when we bought the house and is a dark blue color so I needed something that would coordinate well with it. Grey is what I landed on and the pictures really don't do the color justice. I love the way it turned out! The doors and shelf also had to be painted so I chose a very light gray that is almost white. 

*The shelf holds board games, Nerf guns & Star Wars gear. I also bought bins to
store a few of the toys we did keep like Lincoln Logs and Rescue Heros.

The only seating we have had in the room is a futon, which we use when we have people staying over. To update it I purchased a new futon cover. I wanted more seating but because we do have to fold out the futon at times I didn't want seating that was bulky and hard to move. Bean bag chairs were the obvious choice and the kids love them! I do have a small wooden chair that I am in the process of painting to match the room and for what the kids do down here, it makes for plenty of seating.

Who doesn't love a chalk board wall?! The wall you see in the picture is a removable wall, because the furnace is behind it and it allows us access to it when it needs servicing. I was nervous about using chalkboard paint because I wasn't sure if it was easy to work with our not. It's actually not hard to use at all; in fact, the boys each had a section and painted it themselves. It turned out really great. I hung a bucket off of the beam (a bucket I already had) to put the chalk in. In front of the chalkboard are two 4-in-1 table top games that were given to the kids last Christmas. The table is just a folding table we already owned and eventually Ben is going to make a table on wheels, which will also have storage underneath for the ones we are not using. In the foreground of this picture you also see a black chest. I painted it and inside we store the kids costumes and all the accessories to the game tables. On top, we took the chess board/backgammon table that came with the game tables and drilled it to the top of the chest. Now there is a chess board always out (my boys LOVE chess) and the pieces are stored inside the chest.

I wanted some sort of sport game for the boys to do inside but was nervous to spend money on something that was poorly made and would break after a week. My boys play hard and things get broken! I found this basketball hoop on Amazon and we love it. It's meant to fit over a door but it didn't work on our doors so Ben took the hooks off and just drilled it into the beam. That's one of the perks of living in a post and beam house! The rim is metal and has springs so you can be rough on it and it's not going to break. It also came with a small basketball that, surprisingly, bounces really well on the carpet. The boys have spent hours playing with this already.

Then there were the accessories that I wanted to get. On top of the bookcase in the picture to the right

is a very small CD player. It's the perfect size and the sound quality is great! I didn't want to spend a lot of money because they all have CD players in their bedrooms. I also didn't want anything big and bulky because the space is small. Above the bookcase I purchased a frame and plan to put a picture of each of the kids in it, I just haven't had the time yet. I also had to purchase curtains for the two small windows. I ordered two valances and they work perfectly! One thing I did but didn't have to was replace all the light switch and outlet plates. The last things I bought was a DVD player and two wooden signs. One has "Family Rules" on it and the other is one that I have been wanting for a long time. My grandfather used to sing "You are my Sunshine" to me all the time when I was little. Every time I hear this song it reminds me of him!

We are all so pleased with the way the room turned out. I will break down what I purchased for the remodel and (if possible) will include a link to where I got the items. Anything you see in the room, but do not see it listed with a price, is an item we already owned.

*Paint: $160
*Bean Bag chairs: $60
  LINK
*Futon Cover: $30
  LINK
*Basketball Hoop: $20
  LINK
*CD Player: $38
  LINK
 *DVD player: $30
   LINK
 *Wooden Signs: $25
   LINK   
*Bins: $35
  LINK 
*Clock: $9
  LINK
*Light switch/outlet plates: $16
  LINK
*Picture Frame: $18
  LINK  **The day I purchased this free shipping was offered**
*Valance X 2: $22
  LINK

TOTAL: $463.00

So there you have it! This is how we remodeled our basement room for under $500. I loved the challenge of finding just the right items I wanted for this space and searching for the right price so I could stay within my budget. I know I could have gotten some of these things cheaper or even free if I had had the time to go to different thrift stores or ask around. Since this is money that was gifted to us, I felt less guilty splurging a little!

Since there are still plenty of rooms left in our house in need of a make-over, feel free to share your budget-friendly tips. I'm sure I'm going to need them!
                           

A Time to Be That Mom

Blessed are they that dwell in thy house: 

they will be still praising thee. Selah. ~Psalm 84:4 

Today I was that mom. You know the one that gets the looks. The one people are thinking has lost control. I thought it would be a good idea to take the girls out to the store today because there were a few things I needed, nothing pressing but getting out of the house would do us all some good. I expected them to be well-behaved because my children, typically, are good in public and when the trip involves the dollar store my chances of well-behaved children is even better because there is always a special treat involved when we go to the dollar store. Thinking in my head, "I got this", was my first mistake. Arrogantly thinking I would have perfectly obedient children was my second.

From the moment we left the house my 4-year-old was non-stop asking for things. From her brothers notebook she found in the truck to a mint to what she could have at the Dollar Store. The more I reminded her to stop asking for things the more she asked. When I left the house, I had looked out the window and saw the sun shining. It never occurred to me to check the temperature because yesterday it was a balmy 50, so sunshine obviously meant today would be balmy too. It wasn't. It was 28 and very windy. As we get to the store and are walking across the parking lot (because "I got this" so I don't need to contain the babies in the double stroller) my sweet girls are in their spring jackets with no hats because remember, in my mind it was supposed to be 50 degrees today, screeching that it's cold. My 2-year-old who has a deep, booming voice is yelling, "Tessie cold, mommy!" over and over and over. As I'm not paying attention to where we are stepping because I'm too busy trying to persuade the onlookers with my radiant smile that "I got this", the 2-year-old and 4-year-old step in a huge puddle of water. When we get inside. I put the 1-year-old in the cart, strap her in and she starts sucking her thumb, holding her taggie and looking like a little angel. This gives me hope. 

I had decided that having Tess sit in the basket of the extra small cart and burying her with all my dollar store treasures was a better idea than using the double stroller and trying to fit everything in the undercarriage. As we start walking around the 4-year-old proceeds to touch everything pink and ask if we can buy it. What the 2-year-old hears when I say no is yes so she stands up and tries to put said items in the cart. By aisle two the amount of times I had said "sit down" and "stop asking me to buy things" was discouraging. When we got to the toiletries section I stocked up on toothpaste and toothbrushes as I always do and then fixated on a shampoo that caught my eye. I never buy shampoo for myself at the dollar store because one of the things I like to treat myself to is really good shampoo. This one though, looked salon quality and said it was comparable to Paul Mitchell's tea tree shampoo. Even though I knew this was a gimmick to get me to buy it and even though I knew that it would likely leak everywhere because the cap did not close securely I still convinced myself it was a good idea to put it in the cart...with my 2-year-old...who was having obedience issues. When I came out of my daydream of having found salon quality shampoo at the DOLLAR STORE, I realized that the whole time my 4-year-old had been rearranging the nail polish display WHILE the girl working there was actually stocking nail polish. I didn't just get a look. I got a dirty look. 

I knew at that point I should probably just cut my trip short but I managed to convince myself that this wasn't going as badly as I thought and that "I got this". So on we went. The 4-year-old continued to ask me to buy her all the pink things she saw...and a couple purple ones too, the 2 year-old continued to stand up, which at this point was a big deal because each time she stood up all the items I was placing on her was falling under her and when she'd sit back down she would sit on all the stuff....like bottles of shampoo. The next thing I know I have a 2-year-old who has tea-tree smelling shampoo all over her jeans, hands and just about everything else in the cart. Of course I had thought to bring wet wipes with me but because "I got this", I had decided not to bother because I would only be gone about an hour. I had nothing to wipe this shampoo up with so I had to grab a dish towel (why not a roll of paper towel? I.Do.Not.Know.) and start wiping up the toddler and wiping up the items in the cart. The 4-year-old is not happy because not only does she have to hold the bottle of shampoo for me the rest of the trip, the towel I choose to wipe stuff up with (and now have to buy) was not pink. All the while my angel of a 1-year-old...well she remained angelic, which I am sure is the only reason I got anyone to smile at us at all.

This is when I decided that it was time to head to the cash and go home. As we start unloading the items off of the 2-year-old I noticed my 4-year-old frantically grabbing things from the cart and giving them to the cashier herself. I should have thought something of that but at this point I had no capacity for foresight. I just told myself, "she's such an eager helper". I managed to get through the awkward explanation to the cashier about why I had already used the dish towel I had not yet paid for gracefully and shortly we were on our way back to the truck. The girls did screech the whole walk across the parking lot that it was "too cold mommy" because my prediction of a 50 degree day was still not being realized. It remained 28 degrees. A quick stop to my favorite coffee shop and we were driving home.

On the CD that was playing in the truck the song, "Be Still my Soul" came on. The first line says, "Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side, bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide;" And I began crying. I had gone into this trip thinking "I got this". I had gone into this trip with a sense of pride that my girls would be little angels as we walked around the store. What I should have done before we left, and what I usually do, is pray and ask God to help me. I had forgotten to include God in our day and the results spoke very loudly to me today...even louder than my 2-year-olds booming voice. Whenever we start thinking, "I got this", we need to take a step back and remember that it is only because of God that we can do anything, and ask for His help! While this song was playing God used it to show me that even though this trip didn't go the way I had planned it to go it was okay because he was going to use some of the things that happened to show me what I need to be more diligent about as a mom but still realize that no child is ever going to do everything perfectly. Even though we teach them to obey that doesn't guarantee they will ALWAYS obey. I don't always obey so how can I put the expectation of perfect obedience onto my children? I need to just do my job of "mom" the best way I can with God's help and trust HIM to provide the results. This trip to the store also taught me that I need to be more compassionate to other moms I meet in the store who may be dealing with an unruly child. Instead of assuming she's not doing her job as a mom I need to be giving her a warm smile that sends her the message of , "I understand" and say a silent prayer for her. If the moment allows maybe even offer her a word of encouragement. 

Safe at home, tears all dried up and with a refreshed spirit after meeting with God on my ride home, I began to unload the items we had purchased. My once full bottle of tea tree shampoo was now half a bottle and I realized that my "eager" helper was not so much an eager little helper but rather a deceptive little helper as I found a few items that made their way into our home I had not approved of. Oh well, I guess we can always put to use art supplies and coloring books. I realized I had forgotten the two things I actually went to the dollar store for but hey, who needs soap? As I looked around I got a very clear sense that no, I don't "got this" but I do know who does and I am so thankful that HE is always there to "order and provide".