Tomorrow is a big day for Noah and all the kids in his grade. For the first time, the 4th grade teachers are taking the kids to Boston for the day. They are taking the train into Boston and walking about 2 miles (not sure if that is one way or total) to the Science Museum.
***Sigh***
He is growing up. I've known this would happen, I even look forward to seeing my kids grow up. I've never been the mom who says, "I just want to freeze time" or "please don't grow up". It's not that I am hoping for time to pass quickly I am just excited for my kids and I really love watching them grow, hitting milestones and seeing their character and personalities develop. This is what is supposed to happen! I have however, had a very hard time with the idea of this field trip. I've known about it for months. I think it was around Christmas that we were told about it and I remember instantly having real anxiety about it. Questions like, "Will there be enough supervision? and Will the kids be safe?" ran through my mind. It is hard for me to let go sometimes and let my kids grow up and have adventures and experiences. While there are certain situations I would never allow I do think something like this is important and will be not only be fun & exciting for Noah and but a good exercise for me to trust. God is always with Noah and this fun, safe, well supervised activity is a good way for God to teach me to trust Him to keep Noah safe. He is after all with us ALWAYS. In my head I believe this but that doesn't always translate to my heart...especially when it comes to my kids. I was talking to Noah about all this last night, asking him what his feelings are about this...is he nervous, scared, excited? We also talked about budgeting the money we are sending him with and it hit me that while he is still a kid he has grown up a lot this year and he IS ready for more responsibility. He IS ready for this kind of adventure and I was struck with just how much maturity he was displaying as we were talking about everything. I'm really proud of the kid Noah is. He is such a blessing. And he is also not nervous at all and completely excited to go!
So I ask you...has it been hard for you to "let go"? When was the first big adventure in your child's life...without you there and how did it go? How did you and he handle it? Have you ever not allowed your child to do something and then later regretted it? Or allowed them to do something and regretted it? I would love to hear from you and your experiences with "letting go"!
Oh gosh... letting go moments. My recent ones are different yet still similar emotionally. The first child going to college.. as I walked away from his dorm room with tears rolling down my cheeks.....When they started moving out...as I carried the furniture and helped hang their curtains in the "new apartments". (I know, I secretly thought, .."they'll be back") The girlfriends and boyfriends that come and go, until one becomes a wife to your son, or a husband to your daughter. Although, I love the new members of the family, I miss the closeness I had with my children as they become someone's special someone. And now, as my youngest will be entering her senior year in college and recently tells me she has two jobs this summer, I am feeling slightly lost. When they grow up and become self-sufficient, you couldn't be more proud. Yet, there is this pang of emotion that comes with every step of letting go. It is not that you don't think they will be fine... It is more whether you will be fine with less of them.
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