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| Meet Oliver! |
Life seemed simpler when I was having a baby...and it was only 11
years ago when I had my first one! I was recently visiting my best friend who
just had her first baby, (seriously, how cute is he?!) and I said to her how
thankful I am to have had my first few babies before the world of social media.
For that matter, I am thankful I had my first baby before I was really even
internet savvy. I wasn't bombarded daily with the all the ways I could possibly
mess up this whole mom thing. I wasn't daily "googling" articles (was
it even around 11 years ago?) and I wasn't reading every book or magazine
article there was out there. I honestly wasn't that worried about
anything...maybe I should have been but I wasn't
My new saying lately is, "people who live in glass houses
should not be on Facebook!" I say Facebook because it is the only social
media outlet I use. Don't ask me what twitter is all about because I have no
idea and I don't understand the point of hash tags either.
#cantyoujustsayitnormally? What I am trying to say is that if you find yourself
easily influenced and prone to being over-sensitive then Facebook might not be
the best place for you. There are so many posts and status updates dedicated to
raising kids, keeping babies alive and being a mom....and they aren't all
helpful or encouraging. If I was a new mom I would be so overwhelmed and
intimidated by all the information out there. I am very confident in my choices
as a mom but even I have days where I want to hide just about everyone in my
newsfeed and if I see one more article or post calling moms who vaccinate
ignorant and how all the kids in public school will just end up stupid because
of Common Core I'm going to scream! When did it become so okay to be so
critical of every parenting choice one can make? Has all this judgment always
been there or is this all part of the social media generation? I'm sure
judgment was prevalent before, but maybe not as "in your face" as it
is now. I just don't remember watching my parents over analyze every parenting
decision they made. Granted, some decisions probably could have benefited from
more thought but I am positive my mom wasn't stressed out about whether or not
my blankets were made from organic cotton. We are talking about a generation
who fed their kids Vienna
I don't know why I have felt such a burden
to write this post...I feel something like this has been written a million
times. I just have it on my heart to encourage you, mom, who might be
struggling today, or yesterday or tomorrow. I have a burden to let you know
that you are doing a great job...even though you probably don't feel like you
are. I can say this right now because I have an amazing support system of
people who encourage me daily and remind me that I'm doing a good job. I need
that desperately because most days I feel like I am failing! I want you to know
that as useful as some articles or books can be in helping us make informed
decisions they cannot replace your mother's heart for your child. I am
confident in the decisions Ben and I make on behalf of our kids because we
trust God to give us wisdom...our confidence comes from Him. God is the one who
will show you without a doubt what the best choice is for YOUR child. Sometimes
he uses other people's experiences to guide us, and that is a wonderful thing,
but ultimately the only thing you have to concern yourself with is what the
best choice is for you. It's not my job to convince another mom to do things
the way I do. It is my job to seek out Gods will for my kids. That is a full
time job in and of itself, so I really have very little time to be telling
other moms what they should be doing!
I think it is great when I see a mom who
is very confident in the decisions she is making for her family (Dads too obviously, but I'm not writing to them). I know
how good I feel when I can be immovable in my choices as a mom. It has to be
exhausting to be constantly second-guessing yourself. And this post is for that
mom...the one who is so unsure and worried she isn't making the right choices.
To you I want to say that you do know what is best for your child, even if you
don't realize it yet. God gave that child to YOU because he knew you were the
best mom for him. Take confidence in that and trust yourself, that you ARE
making the right decisions for your family. Keep praying and asking for wisdom (which
God gives liberally to those who ask for it) as you raise your family. To the
confident mom, I say this...be gracious, be kind and be gentle. It is not your
job to convince every other mom to do things they way you are persuaded to do
for your family. Choose wisely the words you speak and the articles you post on
social media and put new and more insecure moms first by considering their
feelings and fragile hearts. There are articles and words that are truly
helpful and encouraging and then there are some that are just plain rude. Don't
be the "in your face" mom. That kind of approach is only hurtful. Be
the kind of mom who gently mentors and encourages other moms to seek out what
Gods will is for their families. There will be times they land at the same
conclusion you have on a matter and there will be times they don't...and that's
okay!
In my life, being allowed to be a mom is
one of the best gifts God has given me, second only to being Ben's wife. I feel
so blessed to be allowed this journey and I know I love it so much in part
because of the great mom's God has put in my life to mentor me and gently guide
me along. I also know the hurt some caused as I navigated some more challenging
decisions. It's tough. I don't want to be that kind of mom and I pray often
that God would give me grace and compassion for other moms. It really is one of
the hardest jobs we will ever do...so why not do it together in love and
support of one another?
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32
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