A Time to Say Goodbye

According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, 

or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ~Phil. 1:20-21

Some of you might remember the post I wrote about a summer project our family started last year. If not, you can read it here (click the link). What our family did was choose someone in our church to commit to praying for over the summer and send them notes/drawings, etc. This ended up being such an amazing project. Every single one of us received a blessing from this. We decided this would become something we were going to do every summer. What started out as a "summer project" turned into a year-long project because the kids did not want to stop sending notes to the person they had chosen and they never stopped praying for them. We just recently chose our person for the coming summer/year but the kids were adamant that they did not want to stop praying for and writing to their previous person so now they are each praying for two people! It's just awesome.

Why do I bring this up again? Well, because there is a very special lady we have been praying for because she is the person Gabe chose last summer to pray and make cards for. Because of this, Mrs. E and Gabe have developed a very special relationship. He truly loves Mrs. E and is very sad that she may not be with us much longer. Even as I write this it is hard to hold back the tears. Mrs. E has cancer and is not expected to have many more days here on Earth. Mrs. E and her husband Mr. E have been a part of our families lives from the first day we started attending the church we are at now. It's has been 8 years. They were one of the first and few families who have invited us over for meals, shared their maple syrup with us, brought me meal upon meal every time I had a baby, they gave us raspberry bushes from their abundance and picked apples for us when we didn't have time to do it ourselves. Mrs. E has been such an encouragement to me. She was always making sure I knew she appreciated the things I did and reminding me I was doing a good job as a mom. She herself had 6 children and was always so happy for us when another baby joined our family. We have been thankful for their friendship and encouragement. But for Gabe, because he was praying for her daily and because he was writing her cards, he developed a closer relationship with her than any of the other kids have and he is truly sad that she is so sick. 

The other day the kids had a 1/2 day of school and I had "my girls" here helping me so I took the opportunity to only bring the older kids over to Mrs. E's home to visit her. She is unable to get out of bed now, can barely whisper and is no longer eating. I warned the boys that it might be a shock to see her this way. I admit they were much stronger than me. I couldn't stop the tears. Mrs. E is in her 70's and up until last year she moved quicker than most of us. Ben and I always say that we hope we age just like she and Mr. E have because they are in amazing health and shape. They don't stop! So to see Mrs. E this way was hard. Mr. E picked up Gabe and brought him right over to her bed, sat him down next to her so he could give her a big hug. It was such a sweet moment. When we were driving home Gabe said, "I really wish she could have talked to me" and "I don't want Mrs. E to die". It was the perfect opportunity to remind the boys that while we are sad and will miss her very much we are only saying goodbye here on Earth. God promises life everlasting to those who believe in Him and we know Mrs. E loves God and has trusted Him as her Savior. We will see her again in heaven and that is such a precious hope that we as believers in Christ have. (John 3:16; John 5:24;)

While we were visiting, Mr. E wanted to make sure we knew that they wanted Ben to come visit too so on Saturday Ben went over with Gabe. Before Gabe walked out the door he said to me, "I really hope she can talk to me". Well God is good because she was strong enough to whisper a few thing to him and he was so happy! It's a bittersweet time for sure. I praise God for Mr. & Mrs. E's testimony and genuine love for God. They have served so faithfully and are a shining example of what God expects from his "senior saints". If you could take some time and keep this family in your prayers. They have a very big family and they are all there with Mr. & Mrs. E now but they need strength and comfort during this difficult time. I know they would covet your prayers.

A Time for Family Movie Night

We recently started having a "Family Movie Night". Partly because now we have enough kids that are old enough to actually sit through a movie, partly because we finally got a TV and no longer have to crowd around a computer screen but also because we just had two babies in less than a year. By the time Friday comes we are wiped and need a low-key relaxing activity that we can do with our older kids while we are also taking care of two babes. Now that the girls are getting bigger (18 months and 8 months now...crazy!) and it is a little easier to get out of the house and do things we will do this less, especially for the summer, but the kids have enjoyed movie night a lot! Especially since there is a "no tv/video game" rule on school nights!
The challenge with movie night we have found is finding appropriate movies. We are careful with what we allow the kids to watch. It's also challenging to find something that will be interesting for our 8-10 year olds AND the 4, 5 and 6 year-olds. Since subscribing to Amazon Prime we have been able to find a lot of great old movies to rent. If you find yourself in a similar situation, having trouble finding good family movies, here is a short list of some we have enjoyed recently:

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Follow Me, Boys!

Frozen

The Sound of Music (surprisingly ALL my older kids loved this movie)

Swiss Family Robinson

Shakiest Gun in the West (we are big Don Knotts fans!)

The Apple Dumpling Gang

Of course every good movie night comes with yummy snacks! Thankfully my kids were thrilled with popcorn because there were a lot of movie nights I barely had the energy to do that much! I pop it on the stove, I don't buy the microwave kind. Sometimes I pop it in coconut oil and that makes it really yummy!  I did find a really great recipe for "movie night" popcorn and my kids beg for it every time. If it wasn't sooooo sugary I would. Here is the recipe and it's worth making:

Movie Night Popcorn (click the link)

Then there was the night I made salted caramel pretzel bark (click the link). It's out of this world...you HAVE to make this stuff. It's incredibly easy and I promise you will not be able to stop eating it! 

A few weeks ago I was tired of popcorn and didn't have time to cook something but wanted to do something different. This is what I came up with and it turned out to be one of the kids favorite movies night snacks! 

 Basically all the ingredients for S'mores were staring me in the face when I opened the cupboard. Since it was a cold, rainy night and we couldn't make a camp fire I thought maybe the kids would be okay with just the ingredients for s'mores. I was right, they loved this!  I served it in coffee filters so the clean up was easy too!

There you have it. Throw in lots of pillows and comfy blankets and you have yourself a pretty good movie night!

 I'd love to hear your family movie night suggestions for movies AND snacks!

A Time for Grandmother's

Jena & I having some tea with
my grandmother's china that she
gave me.

I live 8 hours away from my grandmother and that is 8 hrs too much. She is a very special person in my life and I wish I could see her all the time. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood involve her and my grandfather. They were so good to my sisters and I. They spoiled us like crazy, even when we didn't deserve it..they still spoil us! I remember sleep overs and getting to sleep in my grandmother's bed with her. In the morning she would always tell me stories of how I moved constantly and took up the whole bed! Then she would make us toast on the "roulette" as she called it, which is really just toast on a cast iron skillet. I make it now for my kids and it always takes me back to that time. I remember times spent at their camp where my grandfather taught me to dive off their party boat and picking strawberries in the field with my grandmother. We would bring them inside and wash them up, then she would put them in a bowl with some cream and sugar...that was a good snack! I remember her teacup collection and her letting me and my younger sister choose one. Then she would let us drink coffee with her...it was more like milk & sugar with a drop of coffee but we felt like grown-ups and using her teacups made us feel special. I remember her allowing us to explore her bedroom...all her pretty jewelry and her shoes and clothes. The day I was able to go in and look through her jewelry and choose what I would wear with my wedding dress is a day I will never forget. 

It's hard to describe my Memere (that's what we call her) in a few words. She is such a fun person to be around. I think she's hysterical. She is very sociable and loves to have fun. She is very talkative as well. I remember growing up being told I was "just like your grandmother" because I could be chatty too...and very early in the morning! She is so talkative in fact that my uncle, who for a few years did much traveling from Maine to

Me (pregnant with Emma), Memere
and Tess last summer.

Georgia, named his GPS "Lulu" after my grandmother. My grandmother's name is Lucille and when we named Tess we gave her Lucille as her middle name, to honor my grandmother. I've written before how I find it neat that my kids resemble in personality the people we have named them after. Tess is no different. So much of what I see in her personality reminds me of my grandmother. If I had to say the one thing I hope Tess inherits from my grandmother I would have to say I'd want it to be her unconditional love. I have known nothing other than that kind of love from her. There are times I know I disappointed her, hurt her, was unkind but she never once let me know it. I know without a doubt there is nothing I could do that would make her love me less or treat me any differently. She has not only exhibited this with me but with others in her life. She is always ready with open arms to receive & forgive you. This is such a strong quality of hers. I guarantee that if you are talking with my grandmother about a conflict you are having she will always try to find the good in the person or situation and encourage a resolution. She does not like conflict, forgives easily and loves a lot! 

It is rare a day goes by that I do not think of my family, but what has me thinking about my Memere so much that I felt compelled to write about her? Well weeks ago she sent us an Easter card and in it some money, which she insisted I spend on something for myself. I wanted to make sure that whatever I spent the money on would be something that reminded me of her. I have been wanting an Alex and Ani bracelet for awhile and decided that was the perfect way to spend the money. I picked the November birthstone bangle because my Memere and I are the only two in the family who share a November birthday. Topaz always reminds me of her as does jewelry. It came in last week and I'm so excited about it. I wear it and I can't help but think about her.  

If you have a grandmother and she is living, how do you cultivate a relationship with her? How do you encourage your kids to have relationships with their grandparents? My kids do not see their own grandmother's often either. Once a year or so is about how often they get to spend time with them so as parents we have to make a point of setting time aside where the kids and I make them cards and write a note. I have to be mindful to send emails and pictures and update them. It can be so easy to forget to do these things but they are so important. As a grandmother, what are you doing to make sure you are a part of your grandchildren's lives? How do you cultivate that relationship with them, particularly if distance is a factor? I would love to hear from you all and hear the kinds of relationships you have with the grandmother's in your lives and what you have done to remain close to them. Our grandmother's are such a gift from God! 

The kids (minus Emma) with my grandparent's
last summer. 

A Time to Let Go

Tomorrow is a big day for Noah and all the kids in his grade. For the first time, the 4th grade teachers are taking the kids to Boston for the day. They are taking the train into Boston and walking about 2 miles (not sure if that is one way or total) to the Science Museum. 

***Sigh***

He is growing up. I've known this would happen, I even look forward to seeing my kids grow up. I've never been the mom who says, "I just want to freeze time" or "please don't grow up". It's not that I am hoping for time to pass quickly I am just excited for my kids and I really love watching them grow, hitting milestones and seeing their character and personalities develop. This is what is supposed to happen! I have however, had a very hard time with the idea of this field trip. I've known about it for months. I think it was around Christmas that we were told about it and I remember instantly having real anxiety about it. Questions like, "Will there be enough supervision? and  Will the kids be safe?" ran through my mind. It is hard for me to let go sometimes and let my kids grow up and have adventures and experiences. While there are certain situations I would never allow I do think something like this is important and will be not only be fun & exciting for Noah and but a good exercise for me to trust. God is always with Noah and this fun, safe, well supervised activity is a good way for God to teach me to trust Him to keep Noah safe. He is after all with us ALWAYS. In my head I believe this but that doesn't always translate to my heart...especially when it comes to my kids. 

I was talking to Noah about all this last night, asking him what his feelings are about this...is he nervous, scared, excited? We also talked about budgeting the money we are sending him with and it hit me that while he is still a kid he has grown up a lot this year and he IS ready for more responsibility. He IS ready for this kind of adventure and I was struck with just how much maturity he was displaying as we were talking about everything. I'm really proud of the kid Noah is. He is such a blessing. And he is also not nervous at all and completely excited to go! 

So I ask you...has it been hard for you to "let go"? When was the first big adventure in your child's life...without you there and how did it go? How did you and he handle it?  Have you ever not allowed your child to do something and then later regretted it? Or allowed them to do something and regretted it? I would love to hear from you and your experiences with "letting go"! 

The Gender Difference

People will ask, "what is the difference between raising boys and raising girls?". Up until a few days ago I didn't have an answer because I haven't found it that much different yet. The other day something happened that was eye-opening to me. One of the boys had to go to the bathroom. They used the last of the toilet paper, finished their business then went about their day. Minutes later Jena had to use the bathroom. She walks in. She sees there is no toilet paper. Without saying a word she leaves the bathroom, heads down to the basement, where we keep the extra toilet paper. She returns with a roll of toilet paper and replaces it. All of this was done with no prompting from me. I have never even taught her or explained to her to do this. She did this all on her own. Not one of the boys has ever done this. Ever. 

That is the difference between boys and girls. Happy Monday!

Oh...totally off subject but look at my big girls! Today Emma is 8 months and Tess is 18 months. Jena will be 4 in two weeks. Where is the time going? 

A Time to Potty Train

If there is one thing I dislike about raising kids it's potty training. To date it is my least favorite parenting thing to do. I don't know if I'm just the worlds worst potty trainer or what but seriously it has been a challenge and struggle for almost all of them. I still have two to go so I can't say how they will be but my hopes aren't high for them. It does not matter that I have used the same method of training with all of them in the beginning of the process. You know, the can't fail "set-the-timer-every-20 minutes and don't leave the house for 2 weeks" method just about everyone uses. Yeah, it's not fail proof in this house. Neither is the, "okay Jr. today's the day we get rid of diapers all together and now you will use the potty, never have an accident and never need diapers again" method. Then there's the sticker charts, rewards of m&m's and mints (or whatever you use), the promises of a special outing if they go the whole day without an accident and the incentive of receiving that toy they have been wanting if they could only go a week with no accidents! You know, all those tried and true tips, tricks and methods that seemingly have worked for every other kid in the world. Well not so much in this house. Don't get me wrong many of these things I have done and tried and promote but there has not been one way or one method that has worked for all of them. At least that has been my experience so far.

If I have learned one thing about raising kids it is that no two are alike and just because something worked with one it does not mean it will work with any others. Isn't that discouraging? Am I making you want to give up right now? Believe me I have had a lot of moments during this journey of potty training where I ended up in the fetal position ready to throw in the towel convinced that my children would be teenagers still wearing diapers. The great thing about getting through the process and looking at it from the other side is finding out that they do learn, some more quickly then others, but they do eventually graduate out of diapers into those coveted underwear (the ones you let them choose themselves of course, as an incentive to stay dry!).

 I have had a few who were very stubborn about the whole thing and it didn't matter what I did or what I tried they just would not do it unless it was on their terms in their time. After I had this experience with my first one I vowed we would never do it like that again. I felt so much pressure to have him potty trained young, convinced I was a bad mother if he wasn't, listening to other moms tell me their fool-proof methods and if I only did it like them he'd be trained (but he wasn't), and all the while stressing myself and him out big time. It was not fun for either of us. I started training him at 2 and he was not fully trained until he was almost 4. With my second I refused to force it. I introduced it at 2 but he showed no interest so I let it go. I decided I would wait for the signs that he was interested and start actively training him then. That's not to say we didn't introduce the concept or ask him if he wanted to try but we didn't force the issue. One day when he was almost 3 we were getting ready to take a bath and he says, "pee". I asked him if he had to pee and he said yes. I put him on the potty but he said he wanted to stand. I stood him in front of the potty and he peed in the toilet. From that moment on he never wore a diaper. That was it. He had decided he was ready and that was that. He wasn't dry at night but during the day there were no diapers, pull-ups or accidents. I was on cloud 9. I thought I had figured it out. Go me! That high would not last because 3 other kids have been potty trained since him and only one of them was that easy. 

Try not to get discouraged. I promise you if you are actively introducing the concept and making a deliberate effort to train your child they will not graduate high school in diapers! If you are a mom who is struggling with potty training your child I encourage you to talk to some friends who have already been through the process. Pick their brains and find out what worked for them and what didn't. Be willing to try different things but also be willing to say, "he's just not ready yet". Believe me it's not worth the stress you will both be under if you try forcing something that is just not ready to happen. If you know a mom (or dad) who is struggling with potty training offer them some help, if you are able. I don't mean advice, I mean help. Offer to come over and spend a few hours with that child. Sometimes all the child needs for incentive is to "show-off" for someone else like a relative or close friend of the family. Two of my kids only became fully potty trained after spending some time with their grandmother and aunt. They were so proud to go potty for them it was all the encouragement they needed. It was also an incredible blessing to me. I also have a very generous and selfless friend who last year while I was taking care of a new baby and also 7 months pregnant and trying to potty-train my just-turned 3-year-old (and really hoping to avoid having 3 in diapers) offered to keep her overnight for a few days so she could try potty training her along with her girls who were potty trained. Because I ended up delivering early this never happened but the fact that my friend was willing to do this meant so much to me and it is something I will never forget. Not only did it show me how much she must love me but it also was an example to me of how I might minister to another mom if the opportunity ever presented itself. 

In closing I will leave you with some things I feel were beneficial in the training of my kids to use. They're not fool-proof...these are just ideas. 

* A timer. This is how I have begun the process with all of them so far. Set the timer for every 15-20 minutes and when it goes off have them sit on the potty for 10 or so minutes. Keep repeating this. I can't say any of mine have trained because of this method but it definitely helped in establishing the concept of potty training. I also do not schedule any appointments or outings during this time and plan to stay home for a couple weeks.
*Sticker charts. I had one who loved this. He got to choose the stickers at the store and I kept the chart right in the bathroom. 
*Rewards. I use chocolate chips. A couple for pee, a few extra for poop.
*Incentives. I told one of the kids if they went the whole day without an accident (this child had accidents because he was too involved with playing to stop what he was doing and use the potty) I would take him to the store to pick out his own underwear. It worked...but only with this particular child.
*Family/Friends. If you think your child would be more willing to "perform" for someone who is important in their life because they want to show them how big they are then ask that person if they would be willing to help you out. It worked for me twice. I didn't ask these people though, it just happened they had my kids while they were potty training and that was the incentive those particular kids needed.
*Commando. I had one who would not use the potty if they had underwear, a diaper on or a pull-up on. One day I decided to take off all those things and leave the child in just pants. It worked. This child has not had an accident since I did this. It took a couple months of going commando but now they wear underwear and have no accidents. 

If you have any tips, tricks or methods that have helped you please feel free to share. I still have two more to go and I know I will need all the help I can get!

A Time to be Organized: Surviving School Vacations

School vacations can be a really fun time with our kids! I for one always look forward to the break. Not only do I get to see my school kids more but I also get a break from the morning rush. Sometimes though, if we are not organized with our time, school vacation can end up being a dreaded time. Not all mom's get the luxury of being home with their kids during school and summer vacations, I realize this! But if you are one of the lucky ones then it might be helpful for you to have a game plan. You don't have to have every second of the day scheduled but having a plan that you and your kids can look at can be a huge help in making things run smoothly so that you and your kids can enjoy your time together!

My schedule is based on the fact that we spend a lot of time at home. Home is a fun and happy place for us so we all enjoy being here but in this season of life it is also out of necessity that I spend a lot of time at home. Not only is it not feasible for us to take day trips to amusement parks and museums but it's also challenging with a lot of little ones, on my own, to do some of the more elaborate activities. I had to learn to be content at home, especially as  we added more and more little ones to our quiver. It didn't happen overnight but now I can say that I truly am content being at home with my kids. I have, however, had to find activities that will keep them busy...not entertained 24/7 but just provide options of things they can do. I will provide you a break down of what my school/summer vacation schedule looks like to give you an idea of how things work here. This obviously is a very individual thing and if you find you do want to implement a schedule for your family you will be adding and subtracting things from this, you will be doing things at different times of day, you will be tweaking it to make it fit your life and goals. 

***This is the schedule we follow on days we are home. On days we have an outing planned things do not run like this. I implemented this to help me on the days (upon days...) we spend at home. ***

Vacation Schedule:

7:00- Okay to wake up (usually they start stirring around 5:30-6...I don't have sleepers. They know they have to lay quietly in their beds until 7, unless they need to use the bathroom.)

7-8 am- Play with Lego's quietly in rooms (everyone shares a room with at least one sibling and they all have lots of Lego's in their rooms to play with. Of course they can choose to read or do something else...they just need to be quiet)

8 am- Breakfast. (This might be too late for some of you but part of loving vacation is not having to get up and make breakfast right away and rush in the morning. Lazy mornings are what I look forward to most. I love having extra alone time with the baby before everyone comes down for breakfast!)

8:30-Chores, brush teeth, get dressed

9:00- Reading out Loud (I pick a book or two that we read together over vacations. We recently finished a story on missionary Eric Lidell. We will start 10 Boys who Changed the World during April vacation. I love this tradition of reading aloud with kids!)

9:30-Play outside (we have a swing set, bikes, trampoline, scooters, balls, bats, etc. There are plenty of activities for our kids to do outside along with the woods that surround us, which offer the perfect backdrop for exploring and imaginative play!)

10:30- Snack & read Bibles (for my younger ones who can't read we have picture Bibles that they can look at. This summer I am hoping to be more consistent about having them memorize Bible verses.)

11:00- Arts & Crafts or drawing at the table (I pick up crafts online or at the dollar store and save them for a rainy day. My kids also love to draw and we encourage this a lot at our house. I keep lots of supplies on hand so we always find something to do). 
Summer Vacation: Cursive writing practice (which is a Bible verse they are copying), math flashcards, worksheets (you can find free printables online that are great), etc. (during the summer vacation we spend some time three days a week on school related things)

12:00-Lunch 

12:30- Chores & put younger ones down for a nap

1:00- Quiet time for everyone. Reading in beds or sleeping.

2:30- Free Play (outside, playroom, Legos, drawing, etc.)

3:00- Snack & younger ones up from naps

3:30- TV or Video Games

4:30- Clean up and get ready for supper

5:00- Supper ( If its a really nice evening we might choose to go outside and play instead and eat later.)

Our evenings are not as structured, with the exception of family devotions after we've cleaned up from supper. Sometimes we go back outside and have a campfire, sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we just veg and everyone does their own thing. 

I know for some of you you're thinking, "there's no way I could structure things like this". I get that, I really do. I have to do it this way for my sanity and if I want to make sure I accomplish things I feel are important to accomplish. It is so easy for me to get sidetracked and lose sight of time. Then before I know the day is gone and we haven't done half the things I had hoped and the kids spend way more time watching TV or playing video games than I wanted. This works for us. My kids are used to their super organized mom so they do well living like this. If you are someone who have never been very structured then it might take awhile to get your family on board! Do we follow it perfectly everyday? No, we don't. Some days I am not feeling well and I let them watch more tv than I would prefer. I'm not perfect and our schedule isn't perfect but it does help keep us organized, motivated and accomplishing things so for that I am thankful!