A Time to Labor in Love

According to Daniel Tiger "Love Day" is for telling people you care about how much you love them. This is what I was listening to in the background as I was preparing Valentine's Day treats for our Good News Clubbers. It was a tedious job of cutting foil, filling it with treats, wrapping it up, tying it with ribbon and attaching a Valentines Day card (that had already been hole punched and sticker affixed!). I was definitely thinking in my head what a labor of love this was! Which then lead me to thinking what a labor of love committing the past 6 years to Good News Club was. Then the thoughts came flooding!

Talk about love...this man truly loves the
Lord and is so passionate about these
kids learning the love of God. What
 a testimony he is to me in this area.

I don't talk a lot about our Good News Club but I wanted to take the time to share with you what it is about and why we do it. Then you can, as you think of our family, commit this to prayer because we need them and these kiddos need them. If you are not familiar with Good News Club, click the link HERE! and educate yourself on this wonderful program. These clubs are a ministry of Child Evangelism Fellowship where trained teachers meet with children (who have parental permission to attend) in schools, homes, youth centers, etc. and learn about Jesus and the Bible. Each club is run in a way that suits its needs and purposes but ours includes a Bible story, craft, snack and song time. My husband grew up in a church that was very involved with CEF and it's various ministries. When we saw Noah was approaching Kindergarten Ben had a burden to start a club in our town's school. As we began researching we realized there already was a club so we contacted one of the ladies who led it and that is how we got involved with this club....6 years ago! The Lord knew what he was doing and his timing, as always was perfect. The lady who had been teaching for several years was having some health issues and they were in need of a new teacher. Ben was eager to get involved and more than happy to teach the Bible lesson. I have been along side him in this ministry of ours from the start. You will recognize me as the lady with the babies in the double stroller. That piece of information is important to understand where my heart is at times. If I want you to hear the next part I have to say I feel it's important to be transparent with you and not sugar coat this. It is very hard for me at times to be involved with Good News Club. And it has nothing to do with not understanding it's importance or fully supporting its mission. It has everything to do with the fact that I am a mom with young kids and I am selfish at times. When I have been home with babies some days the last thing I want to do is cut nap time short and head out in the dead of winter, all bundled up, and go to Good News Club...only to get there and have to deal with a few out of control kids who can be rude and disrespectful. Because lets face it. Not all kids are a joy to work with and they too have bad days....some have really bad days. I get there exhausted and many times my heart is just not in it. My babies that I bring with me are not always up for it either.Sometimes my baby is little and still on a bottle so I have to run the craft while walking around feeding a baby their bottle. Then they grow a little and don't want to be in stroller so I walk with them on my hip as I lead the craft. Then they grow some more and are walking and really just want freedom and they are running here and there and everywhere. Some days they do fabulously because I do try to train them to sit still and be content but life isn't perfect and some days they are cranky...I say they because in the 6 years of doing this I've always had more than one little one to take care of as I try to build relationships with our clubbers and lead the craft time. From trying to meet the needs of my little ones to running around trying to meet the needs of our clubbers I'm in an all out sweat by the time club is over. In a perfect world I would say I go home filled with joy in my heart and a love like no other for these kids. The reality is that a lot of days I go home frazzled and exhausted and wondering what the point of me being there is. Then the guilt sits in. I don't want to feel this way and I start to think about the horrible selfish person I am because club is NOT about me. Club is not there to make me feel good about myself and what I'm doing. Club is for those awesome (yes, even when they are mouthing off and not listening they are still deep down beyond the attitudes, awesome) kids and to show them the love of Christ.

That leads me to my next part. Truly Ben and I have such a passion and burden for children to know that they are loved and that no one loves them more than their creator, God. Because we have received the free gift of salvation and because we know the difference it has made in our lives we have a burden to share that with these kids who might otherwise never hear this great news. We have a burden for our own children to see the needs of the kids they go to school with everyday. As their parents we want to set the example of selflessness and a willingness to do God's work even when we don't feel like it. We have to lead by example because talk is cheap. And that is what I want to say to you reader, who already knows the love of God in your own life...TALK IS CHEAP. It is not enough

to say you love God and know that it's important for others to know about God. You have to put action behind those words. I understand that working with children is not for everyone but there are other people in this world with hurting hearts who need someone to tell them there is a God out there who loves them more than they could ever know. Is it easy to get involved? No it's absolutely not, especially if you are raising children. Satan will put every obstacle in your way to convince you and deceive you into believing you don't have time to invest in others because your family is your first ministry. While I completely agree that our families are our first priority and that it has to be in order, I also KNOW that God CAN and does provide the energy and ability to do more than that. I know on Friday's that things are rarely going to go smoothly and that I will have to fight thoughts of convincing myself not to go to club. The last thing Satan wants is for us to teach these kids about God. I can come up with a laundry list of reason why we shouldn't be involved with Good News Club and some of them might be valid reasons. At the end of the day though, we do it because we love God and we want to serve him. He has given us a burden for children so that is where we serve. It's not easy and I don't always enjoy it but that's not because of the kids and it's not because we shouldn't be doing it. It is because I am a sinner and I'm selfish. Period! I am telling you this because there are hundreds of schools in ME who still allow Good News Clubs to be held in their building but...

Our club has grown so much we
have to divide the kids into two groups.
This is Ben teaching the first group.

"the laborers are few". A club needs someone who is willing to submit their will, get outside their comfort zone, set themselves aside for a couple hours and be willing to go teach kids about the love of God. Yes, mom of young kids, even YOU can do this. It won't be easy but God will give you what you need to do it. It's important that we stop making our laundry list of reasons why we can't and just take the step of faith and DO. If Good News Club isn't where your burden is that figure out who you are burdened for and start ministering to those people. Christians, talk is cheap, and people see through it quickly. Don't just say you care, show you care. There are way too many Christians sitting on the sidelines talking about how horrible this world is instead of putting some action behind those concerns and actually making a difference. It may not seem like you can do a lot. Trust me, I feel like that most of the time. How much impact are we really having? That isn't for me to worry about though. Our job is to plant the seed and let God do the rest.

So I guess my passionate challenge to you this "love day" is to extend Christ's love to others, even if it means sacrifice on your part. What I have learned over the past 6 years in Good News Club is compassion. I have learned to love these kids even when they are unlovable. My heart has changed so much as I've watched these kids and I am so thankful for that. My burden only grows stronger and my prayer is that God would keep those schools doors open to us so we can continue to show love to these kids. They are so worth it!

****There are two other ladies who share our burden for these children and who give of their time to show these kids how loved they are. Without the two of them, this club just would not function well. They are a blessing to us and to our clubbers!

A Time to Put the Boxing Gloves Down

Meet Oliver!

Life seemed simpler when I was having a baby...and it was only 11 years ago when I had my first one! I was recently visiting my best friend who just had her first baby, (seriously, how cute is he?!) and I said to her how thankful I am to have had my first few babies before the world of social media. For that matter, I am thankful I had my first baby before I was really even internet savvy. I wasn't bombarded daily with the all the ways I could possibly mess up this whole mom thing. I wasn't daily "googling" articles (was it even around 11 years ago?) and I wasn't reading every book or magazine article there was out there. I honestly wasn't that worried about anything...maybe I should have been but I wasn't

My new saying lately is, "people who live in glass houses should not be on Facebook!" I say Facebook because it is the only social media outlet I use. Don't ask me what twitter is all about because I have no idea and I don't understand the point of hash tags either. #cantyoujustsayitnormally? What I am trying to say is that if you find yourself easily influenced and prone to being over-sensitive then Facebook might not be the best place for you. There are so many posts and status updates dedicated to raising kids, keeping babies alive and being a mom....and they aren't all helpful or encouraging. If I was a new mom I would be so overwhelmed and intimidated by all the information out there. I am very confident in my choices as a mom but even I have days where I want to hide just about everyone in my newsfeed and if I see one more article or post calling moms who vaccinate ignorant and how all the kids in public school will just end up stupid because of Common Core I'm going to scream! When did it become so okay to be so critical of every parenting choice one can make? Has all this judgment always been there or is this all part of the social media generation? I'm sure judgment was prevalent before, but maybe not as "in your face" as it is now. I just don't remember watching my parents over analyze every parenting decision they made. Granted, some decisions probably could have benefited from more thought but I am positive my mom wasn't stressed out about whether or not my blankets were made from organic cotton. We are talking about a generation who fed their kids Vienna sausages!

I don't know why I have felt such a burden to write this post...I feel something like this has been written a million times. I just have it on my heart to encourage you, mom, who might be struggling today, or yesterday or tomorrow. I have a burden to let you know that you are doing a great job...even though you probably don't feel like you are. I can say this right now because I have an amazing support system of people who encourage me daily and remind me that I'm doing a good job. I need that desperately because most days I feel like I am failing! I want you to know that as useful as some articles or books can be in helping us make informed decisions they cannot replace your mother's heart for your child. I am confident in the decisions Ben and I make on behalf of our kids because we trust God to give us wisdom...our confidence comes from Him. God is the one who will show you without a doubt what the best choice is for YOUR child. Sometimes he uses other people's experiences to guide us, and that is a wonderful thing, but ultimately the only thing you have to concern yourself with is what the best choice is for you. It's not my job to convince another mom to do things the way I do. It is my job to seek out Gods will for my kids. That is a full time job in and of itself, so I really have very little time to be telling other moms what they should be doing! 

I think it is great when I see a mom who is very confident in the decisions she is making for her family (Dads too obviously, but I'm not writing to them). I know how good I feel when I can be immovable in my choices as a mom. It has to be exhausting to be constantly second-guessing yourself. And this post is for that mom...the one who is so unsure and worried she isn't making the right choices. To you I want to say that you do know what is best for your child, even if you don't realize it yet. God gave that child to YOU because he knew you were the best mom for him. Take confidence in that and trust yourself, that you ARE making the right decisions for your family. Keep praying and asking for wisdom (which God gives liberally to those who ask for it) as you raise your family. To the confident mom, I say this...be gracious, be kind and be gentle. It is not your job to convince every other mom to do things they way you are persuaded to do for your family. Choose wisely the words you speak and the articles you post on social media and put new and more insecure moms first by considering their feelings and fragile hearts. There are articles and words that are truly helpful and encouraging and then there are some that are just plain rude. Don't be the "in your face" mom. That kind of approach is only hurtful. Be the kind of mom who gently mentors and encourages other moms to seek out what Gods will is for their families. There will be times they land at the same conclusion you have on a matter and there will be times they don't...and that's okay! 

In my life, being allowed to be a mom is one of the best gifts God has given me, second only to being Ben's wife. I feel so blessed to be allowed this journey and I know I love it so much in part because of the great mom's God has put in my life to mentor me and gently guide me along. I also know the hurt some caused as I navigated some more challenging decisions. It's tough. I don't want to be that kind of mom and I pray often that God would give me grace and compassion for other moms. It really is one of the hardest jobs we will ever do...so why not do it together in love and support of one another? 

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Ephesians 4:32

A Time to Bring on 2015

This is the time of year when many are reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the new one. While I do think we should live in a state of wanting to do things better all year round I also think it is healthy to take inventory and look back. Taking the time to see where I was successful and where I need improvement has always been a good thing for me. While I may not always keep a "resolution" for the entire year, having a goal I am working toward keeps me organized and focused.

As I have been reflecting on the past year I was struck with how little seemed to happen in 2014. There are some people who would think that if BIG things are not happening; if you are not moving, not having a baby, not changing jobs, not revealing a huge life change God is asking you to make then you are not on fire for God and you are stagnant. If you haven't met anyone like this, just wait because you will. What I love the most about the verse above (it's one of my very favorites) is it encourages the idea of waiting. It is a reminder to not run ahead of God. Waiting is just as much an action as running only one can have more dire consequences then the other. "When we rush God's plans or do things our own way, we end up defeated. But waiting on Him will ensure our victory and keep us from foolish acts (Prov. 20:22)" ~Charles Stanley. 

Ben and I have spent most of 2014 waiting...and I believe we will spend at least some of 2015 waiting. I cannot share why we are waiting or what we are waiting for but I can say that while we have had victory so far in the wait, it has not always been easy. There have been times throughout the year that we almost ran ahead of God because we were letting our emotions take over. Waiting on God is not easy when we are desperate for change. It requires a lot of prayer and a lot of wisdom, which thankfully God gives liberally to those who ask (James 1:9). During the wait I can testify that God does renew our strength. It is a blessing during these times of waiting to be able to claim God's promises and know that they are true. I am thankful for the waiting of 2014 and the seemingly boring year with no big happenings. God has done so much teaching and molding of my heart and I was still enough to hear. I have grown in areas I didn't realize I needed growth in. 

What is ahead for the Cyr family in 2015 I do not know...and I don't need to know. The only thing I need to focus on is today. Right now God has given me 1 amazing husband to be a wife to (12 years tomorrow in fact!) and He has given us 7 children to raise for Him and that keeps me plenty busy. I don't need to fill up my time consumed with what God is going to do. While I am excited to see what the future holds, I am content to wait on God to reveal the plan...in His time. I am content to let things happen as He will have and not run ahead of God forcing his plan to happen sooner than it should. It is an indescribable peace and calm when you can let go and let God and if you have not found the ability to wait on God yet, I pray 2015 is the year you do! 

A Time for Christmas Cards Gone By...

Our 2014 Family Christmas Picture
Photo Credit: Rachel Dewhurst

Can you believe it's already the middle of December?! I seriously feel like yesterday I was on the soccer field and today I'm getting ready for Christmas. Today actually feels like Christmas is around the corner now that our trees are blanketed in white snow. I know rain means no shoveling (or plowing our road!) but rain also means ugly, bare trees that don't give you that "christmasy" feel.

Since this snow is getting me into the Christmas spirit and as I am receiving all the lovely Christmas cards from our friends and loved ones it has had me looking back to our old Christmas pictures. I love looking at the Christmas cards and seeing our family grow through the years! I thought I'd share those photos with you...some of you didn't even know our family way back then! I don't have the actual card but I have all the pictures we used for our photo card. It's all started in 2003...our first Christmas as a married couple. We had been married for almost a year and I was 8 months pregnant with Noah! That seems forever ago...enjoy the look back!

2003

2004-Noah is almost 1

2005-Owen is 2 months old

2006-In this card we announced
baby #3 was on the way!

2007-Gabe is 4 months!

2008-Will is 1 month!!

2009

2010-Finally a splash of pink! Jena is 5 months

2011

2012-This is by far my favorite picture because of all the smiles!!!
Tess is 1 month!

2013

"Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!"

A Time to Cry Out

In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me. ~Psalm 120:1

I've been quiet the past few weeks as far as the blog goes. Not because I don't have anything to say...a million thoughts a day go through my mind and I'm always up for a good conversation. Things have been busy and we've traveled more this month than we have in 2 years so I just haven't had any time to sit down and actually get anything written. Plus there is that issue of feeling so overwhelmed that any thoughts I have I can't articulate in a way that makes sense. Been there? I'm sure you have. Those times when your heart has so much to say, is bearing so much, but the words don't seem adequate to

express it. That's been life lately.

I've said it before and I will say it again, raising kids does not get easier as they get older. We have so much on our plates right now in regards to the kids that some days it's hard to breath. I want so badly to be the best mom. I want so badly to find the solution and see victory in some of the areas that are a struggle but it seems God has chosen to allow these things to continue. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I don't mean to come across as complaining. It's just when each of your 7 children is struggling with one or more things, all of it combined is so overwhelming. It's hard to wait on God for some of these things. Most of what is going on is individual. It’s the heart of that child and I can point them to Gods word, I can give reminders, I can correct behaviors but at the end of the day the real change will only happen as the child submits their will to the Father and allows Him to change their heart. 

Man that's hard! It's hard to wait on God to do that. For someone with my personality, who wants to find solutions to problems, it is easy to do it all in my own strength and get impatient waiting on God. I'll be honest; there have been a couple break downs over the past few months where I had to cry out to God. It seemed like he wasn't hearing me and didn’t care. And then as I was reading in Psalms I came across this verse: "In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me". So simple yet just the reminder I needed. God does care and he does hear me. What a blessing that verse was and how many times I have come back to it the past few weeks. 

The vacation I have been so busy this week preparing for has been planned since last year. We've wanted to take a family vacation because it's been 6 years since our last one. With the arrivals of Tess and Emma it made traveling really challenging plus finding something that wouldn't break the bank was tough too. Thankfully the Lord made it possible for us to find a timeshare that was not only affordable but available during the kids Thanksgiving vacation so they will only miss one day of school. It's also driving distance (closer than our drives to Madawaska!) and it can sleep all of us and has a full kitchen so we don't have to eat out! I've been busy making all our meals for next week so once we are there I won't have to cook at all and we can just chill and hang out at the indoor pool. I believe the Lord knew what we would be struggling with now last year and that is why he prompted us to look into a family vacation when we did. It really couldn't come at a better time for us and I think some quiet family time is exactly what our soul’s need. God is so good to provide us with exactly what we need...even before we realize we need it. 

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my amazing family. God has richly blessed Ben and me and despite the demanding needs of our family I am still able to see God's goodness in all of it and thank him for it. In our weakness we are made perfect and I have certainly been seeing how weak I am and how desperately I need God. I am thankful He is there to cry out to when I can no longer bear the task at hand. And I am thankful He is there waiting to pick me up and give me what I need to continue on. 

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and I pray God blesses your time with each other. If you are feeling overwhelmed and can relate to what I have shared then my encouragement to you is to look to the only one who can offer you what you need. He is there and He is ready to help you and give you exactly what you need. God does hear us when we cry out to Him! 

A Time to Trust the Beautiful Journey

                      

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~Prob. 3:5-6

There are not too many months that go by in this house where we are not celebrating someone’s birthday. This month we have two birthdays, Tess is one of them. It's with her birthday coming up in a couple days that I have been thinking so much about the journey God brought me on in waiting for

her. The name Tess means, "beautiful" and the journey God took me on was certainly beautiful.

Kristina O'Brien
Photography

After Jena was born and we finally had our girl our family seemed complete. We had 5 young children and we were feeling like our plate was pretty full. Like it is for most, welcoming a new baby into the family comes with some overwhelming times as you adjust, and even though Jena was an easy baby we still had our share of overwhelming moments. Thinking about having another baby seemed crazy. Yet as crazy as it seemed it only took about a year for me to get that longing again for another baby. The difference this time was that Ben and I were not on the same page. He was very firm that he did not want another baby. He was not saying no forever, but no for now.

This was the first time that we had not been on the same page when it came to having a baby. It was new territory for me and I wanted to make sure that how I handled our opposing opinions not only pleased God, but also respected my husband. Having a baby is a big deal and the decision to have one shouldn't be taken lightly. As much as I wanted another baby I also did not want my husband to feel as though his feelings on the subject didn't matter. One thing that I remember as I think back is that we had a mutual respect and understanding for each other's feelings. I understood that he felt it was unwise of us to have another baby because we were already so busy and so overwhelmed with the ones we had. On some level I totally felt the same way. It did seem unwise to think about bringing in another baby. I did understand that we were just two people and we had a lot of responsibility...and yet as much as I understood and prayed that God would show us His will the more I longed for a baby. I just couldn't explain it.

So what do you do when you find yourselves on opposite sides of the fence? Well the first step is respecting and hearing each other's side, which we did. After that though where do you go from there? We decided the best thing to do was come up with a compromise. We decided that we would wait until Jena was two before making any big decision. When she turned two we would re-visit the subject and see how we felt at that time. Of course that year was filled with lots of prayers...mine of course were asking God to please just put us on the same page somehow. I begged him to make it clear and that if it was not His will for us to have another baby that He would take away my desire to have one. Well the desire for another baby never went away. And Ben's feelings of not wanting another baby didn't go away either.

Four months before Jena was to turn two Ben had to go away on a business trip and I was really not feeling myself. I knew it wasn't a cold or anything like that but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then it dawned on me that maybe I was pregnant. It seemed highly unlikely since we were being careful not to get pregnant but that had not worked out too well for us in the past so maybe I was. I went out to buy a pregnancy test (always fun to do with 5 kids in tow...) and took the test late one night after I had put the kids to bed. It was positive. That night I cried tears of joy for two hours and just spent it in praise and thanksgiving to God. In that moment I had received confirmation that God had heard my prayers, He did know the desire of my heart and he had answered yes. I know that all of my babies have been a gift from God but this one just felt like an extra special gift. One that was meant just for me and I will never, ever forget that moment and those hours with God. It was and is so special to me.

There's a movie called Facing the Giants and in it there is a woman who is unable to have a baby. Part of the movie is taking you through her journey of not being able to conceive and at the end when she receives yet again another negative pregnancy test we see her crying in the parking lot. Through her sobs she looks up to God and says, "I will still love you." I can't get through that part without sobbing myself, not because I understand what it is like to not be able to have a baby but because I understand where her heart is in that moment. Whatever it is that we desire, when God says no, it's hard. Will we still love God when He says, "no"? I understand that God could have said no to us having another baby and I hope that I would have been okay with that answer. I had 5 healthy, beautiful children. I had no business desiring another baby and at the time it made no sense to me why I couldn't let go of that feeling. God had a plan for us. He not only gave us Tess but he also took me on a beautiful journey. 

It was a journey of trust. I left my heart, its desires and all, at God's feet and made a choice to trust him with the outcome. Once I got pregnant I had no idea what Tess' delivery and the weeks following would bring. I couldn't have known how much I was going to have to trust God, how much Ben and I were going to have to trust God. As I look back and remember and look forward to Tess turning two I am reminded of how good God is to me and all he has

brought me through. He said yes to the desire of my heart even when I was so undeserving and He allowed me to take this beautiful journey and for that I am so grateful. Tess is a blessing, as all our children are, and we are just so thankful to have her in our family. So Happy Birthday sweet girl and may you grow to experience your own beautiful journey with God someday!

***I feel as though I need to make a note here. When Ben found out I was pregnant, even though the desire of his heart had not been to have another baby, he was very happy and did see it as part of God's plan for us. ***

A Time to Find the Balance

When school starts life can, and often does, get crazy. Before I had any children who were school aged I used to think the hardest years of my life would be the ones where I was raising babies. Man was I wrong! If only I knew then, what I know now I would have enjoyed the baby stage with my older ones so much more. Once kids start school there is way more potential for schedules to be filled with activities. It can happen when they are little too, it just didn't for us. Once they start school they talk to the other kids and realize what the world has to offer them! 

Early on Ben and I made a decision for our family that we would not over-schedule ourselves That was so much easier to do when they were little. One thing that a family with several children has to consider is how many different directions can two people possible go in and do we want to be going in opposite directions all the time? When you have seven children there is the potential for us to be going in seven different directions and if you do the math, that's just not possible for two people. We have been doing the "school thing" for 6 years now. That doesn't make us pros but it has given us some experience in setting limits for our schedule. I thought I would share some things we've learned along the way to help you in this very busy season of life. These are just things that have worked for us, they are not hard and fast rules. Every family has to do what works for them. This is what works for us. 

1.Pray!  And then pray some more. Never stop praying for wisdom to know what to say yes to and what to say no to. God will give you guidance and peace about the decisions you make and you need to listen! Just because something is good doesn't mean it is good for your family. Before we take on anything whether its sports, a club or something at church, we pray and make sure that it is Gods will for us to set time aside for that activity.

2.Be willing to say no!  There will come a day when you will have to say no to your children and the sooner you start practicing, the easier it will be! There are so many activities out there that kids can

do. They all require your time and most cost money. We made a decision early on that we would be a one sport family until the kids are in Jr. High & High School. All of our school aged kids are in elementary school and we still have 3 little ones at home. It makes life hectic enough as it is with our family only being involved in one sport, I can't imagine how we'd manage if half our family was going to one field and the other half going to another...every night of the week. Each family has to do what is best for them, but for us what is best is limiting the activities our kids are involved in for a season.

3.Set your priorities! This is something we did even before we had children. Be purposeful in your parenting! Decide what the priorities are in your family and stick to it. For our family God is the number one priority. So what does that look like? Well that means that any sport or activity that practices, has a game, or meets on a Sunday is not an option for us. We go to church on Sunday and we set that day aside to worship God and rest. This has meant that we have had to tell the kids no to some things they have been interested in. Because this is the standard we have set from the beginning and have never wavered on, the kids understand. Having time for a date with each other is also a priority so Ben and I make it a point to set that time aside early on in the month, before the calendar fills up! Whatever the priorities are in your family, it is important to remember them and make sure you keep those things your priorities. Don't compromise because you will regret it!

4. Don't over-fill your calendar! If you are finding yourself in a situation where you don't have any free days, nights, weekends then it might be time to reevaluate your schedule and see if you should be doing all of those things that are filling up your calendar. I had a friend tell me one time that when she did her calendar for that month she had one child who didn't have a free day the whole month. The child was committed to something every. single. day. And that was only one child, that didn't include the rest of the family members. I give her a lot of credit for keeping up with that kind of hectic schedule because I think I would lose my mind. Ben and I have found that for our family, what works best is to not over fill our calendar. That means that we leave days open and say no to things that come up if doing it means that we don't get one day that week to breathe. I encourage the idea of husbands and wives sitting down and talking about what is reasonable for your family to take on. It's important to both be on the same page and then once you are, sit down and explain to your kids what your family can reasonably take on and go from there. It might mean eliminating an activity or two but if it means more family time and saving your sanity then it is worth it!

Something I had to learn was that no activity or sport will ever be better for MY kids then time spent at home with their family. I tend to feel guilty sometimes, wishing I had it in me to do more for my kids in the way of offering them all the activities they want to do. That guilt doesn't last long

once I get the right perspective and remember that all the sports and activities in the world mean nothing if my kids are never home with Ben and I. If we are always so busy running here and running there then what we are missing out on as a family is quality bonding time. Something that is super important to me is eating supper together. This is a time when I get to ask my kids about their day and just talk or listen to them talk to each other. I'm not trying to give the impression that our meal times are calm and peaceful...there's 7 kids after all! There's plenty of milk being spilled, kids arguing, babies crying for their food, someone needing to be told for the 100th time to SIT IN THEIR CHAIR...you get the picture. The point is we are all together and in those rare moments when I can get a word in I can use that opportunity to connect with my kids. If every night of the week and every weekend is filled up with some activity that I am rushing my kid to then I'm not really spending time with them and I have very little opportunity to influence them in these very formative years. I read a quote on Focus on the Family that read:

"Parental influence is strongest during the early stages of their children’s lives, up to the age of 13, during which time children are facing relentless
 cultural influences and competing worldviews."

My children are still in the "early stages" of their childhood and I don't want to miss the opportunities to help them understand these "cultural influences and competing worldviews" that they face because I am too busy running from one activity to the next. I'm also not a very good mom when I am so overbooked that I don't have time to breathe and since I am the only mom these kids have I think it's important that I give them the best of myself ...with Gods grace and strength of course!

I don't say any of this to criticize how another family is doing things. I am simply sharing my heart on the subject because for a while I really found myself struggling with finding the right balance. I'm very thankful that with Gods help we were able to find what works for our family and I hope that you are equally as happy with the way your schedule is! If you're not maybe my journey will help you get to a place where you can be happy! And as always, I love learning from you so if you have found ways that have helped you in this particular season of life please share!