A Time to tell the Whole Story

You know the saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words"? That's true sometimes. Sometimes it isn't though. How many times do we see a picture that someone posts on social media and make decisions and assumptions based on that one photo? Sometimes our assertions are correct but there is also a big part of the story that a picture doesn't give you. A picture is a glimpse, a moment, a second into someone's life. It's not the whole story.
I was talking with a friend the other day and what she told me had me laughing and thinking, "oh man, does everyone think that?"

 I posted this picture a few months ago:

This is us at Olive Garden. We look happy don't we? Some might even think it's pretty amazing that we have this many little ones in a restaurant and we're all happy. Some even think that this picture is a good summation of our trip out to eat. It's not. What you don't see in this picture is me and Emma. Emma is in my arms as I take the photo one-handed. I am wrestling her little arm down to keep her from knocking the phone out of my hand so I can get one picture of my family at a restaurant. Emma never left my arms for this meal. What this picture doesn't tell you is that she screamed for 15 mins because she did not want to be in her car seat but she was still too little at the time this picture was taken to be in a high chair. So I held her. The whole time. I didn't even eat my meal. We boxed it up and I ate at 9 pm after all the kids were in bed. I stood for this whole meal, while holding Emma walking around the table cutting up food, helping the waitresses get the food to the right kid and refill waters. Ben was also just as busy with another baby needing his attention and answering endless questions from the older kids. Now, knowing all this you are probably wondering why I even posted a picture. I posted this picture because I was so proud of us for actually being out in a restaurant with all the kids and the only issue we were having was Emma being fussy (no big news there...she has been fussy from the start!). This was the first time we had eaten out in a restaurant since Emma was born. It was a huge undertaking for us and I was really amazed it was going as well as it was...and to some it likely appeared it wasn't going that great at all. I was exhausted and my arms ached and Ben was tired but the kids had a great time. None of them had ever been to Olive Garden before and it's now their favorite restaurant.

Don't get me wrong. We have children who generally do very well in restaurants, which is the only reason we attempted it in the first place. My point is that not every trip out can be predicted when you have kids, and especially so when babies are involved. There are times things go flawlessly and then there are times nothing seems to go right and everyone is acting up. That is what you call life with kids. We do have certain expectations of our kids and we correct consistently behaviors we do not want to see them exhibiting but we do that at home...not at the restaurant. Even kids who are taught well misbehave though so if you see a family out in a restaurant and the kids are acting up don't be quick to judge them. We can never know the big picture. Even parents who are teaching their kids well have kids who act up sometimes. In those times the parents need our love and compassion not our judgment and criticism. Just like a picture doesn't give you the whole story, a 1/2 hr in a restaurant watching another family also doesn't give you the whole story.

Then again...some pictures need no explanation:

A Time to be Reminded

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches

 in glory by Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:19

The kids and I have been reading a great book together over the summer. I like to have a book or two I read aloud with the kids every summer and this year we are reading, Ten Boys Who Changed the World by Irene Howat. It contains stories of 10 different Christian men and gives a brief synopsis of their life, starting from when they were children. The kids have really loved this book and learning about these different Christian men. At the end of each chapter there is a section that makes you think about how you can apply the testimony of these men to your own life and how we can learn from them. Today we did George Mueller. His autobiography is one of my favorite books and his life story is one that has profoundly impacted Ben and I. His testimony of trusting and relying on God is so powerful. There is a quote by George Mueller that says, "No captain, my eye is not on the density of the fog, but on the living God who controls every circumstance of my life". I love this quote and try to apply it to my own life and the situations I face.

George Mueller never saw any obstacle as too big for God. He never relied on man to provide for his needs. He always took every request directly to God and trusted fully that God would provide. God provided in miraculous ways for George Mueller and the thousands of orphans he housed and cared for. Never was he indebted to any man and never did he ask for or solicit funds for the work God was asking him to do. He only let God know of his need and waited on Him to provide. It's such an incredible testimony of the kind of dependence we are supposed to have on God. In the chapter we read today one paragraph reads (GM is speaking to a friend),

"What we do is this. We get down on our knees and we tell the Lord all about it, and he has never, ever failed to answer our prayers. We receive gifts of food, and material for clothes. Some people arrive at the door and give us pennies, others come with hundreds of pounds. Over the years we've run the homes we've been given in money or kind over a million pounds. And remember, we've never asked for a penny."

What an amazing testimony! They cared for thousands of orphans and never did any of them go hungry or need anything. After I finished reading I couldn't help but think of how God has worked the same way in our family. We are asked so often how we afford the children we have. It sounds too simple to some when we tell them it's because God provides but truly that is it. God has provided for every single need. I realize the cost of living today is very different than the cost of living was in George Mueller's time but when you are going to the God who "owns the cattle on a thousand hills" for your needs, you can be sure there is no need too great or a price too high.

If God could provide for the thousands of children in George Mueller's orphanages, he can certainly provide for our family regardless of it's size. He doesn't need the state or government to do it for him either. He just needs us to have faith and believe he will, "supply all our needs" in His time. Reading that chapter today really spoke to my heart and reminded me to stop trying to rely on myself and to humble myself before God. I am ashamed at how often I need this reminder. It was a time to also talk with the kids think about how God has provided for our family and to thank Him for all he does. It is a wonderful testimony to our kids when they see Ben and I trusting God to provide for our needs. When they hear us praying that God would provide something and then observe us waiting on Him to do just that. Its important to us that our kids see us trusting God with everything. I just pray that we would remain faithful and never forget to give thanks and glory to God for all that we have. I am also challenged once again to live by faith...the way George Mueller lived.

If you've never read his life story you should consider it! If you are looking for a book to read with your kids I recommend the one I mentioned above. Every chapter, every life we've read about has left us with a challenge and something to think about!

A Time to NOT Have a Bucket List

Summer vacation is finally here! I think it is just me but this year did NOT fly by. It was a tough year for our family, adjusting to two new babies so maybe that is why I found I struggled to get through this school year and felt it dragged on. Whatever the reason, summer vacation could not get here fast enough.

 You hear talk a lot about "bucket lists". I'm not really sure where the idea or term comes from but everyone seems to be making one. I like the idea of a bucket list for your life, things you'd like to do before you die. It's a nice way to motivate you to accomplish some of those things before time slips by and it's too late. What is very new to me and something I certainly never experienced as a child are the "Summer Vacation" bucket lists. I guess you ask your kids what they want to do over the summer and then proceed to try and cross them all of in the short 2 months you have off. I don't know if there are boundaries to this? If a kid says, "a trip to Florida" does that get written down? Is there a budget? Is there a limit as to how many things can be written on the list? If we only have 60 days of summer vacation but there are 120 things on the list (easily done if you have several kids writing things down) is it a mad dash to fit in two things a day till the end of vacation?

I'm not judging you if you do it. Every family has to do what works for their family but for mine...this is not going to happen. My idea of summer vacation is to not be as busy or busier as I was during the school year. I look forward to summer vacation because I want to relax and move at a snails pace if the day allows. I want to be able to wake up and not be rushed in the morning. I have to imagine that it can get pretty stressful to fulfill all the items on those bucket lists. I also don't want to deal with the disappointment that might come. I'm sure some kids are very reasonable and understand if some things don't get crossed off but there are also some that must get pretty disappointed if time runs out before they are all completed. I don't want that kind of stress hanging over me. I don't want my summer vacation to be a race against time trying to cross everything off a list...a list filled with a child's fleeting desires. My experience with kids has been that they can desperately want to do something one minute and then two seconds later they have moved on to something else. I don't want to spend my summer trying to fulfill fleeting desires all while depleting my bank account!

I also do not want my kids to look forward to summer vacation because we have something planned every day. I want my kids to look forward to summer vacation for the reasons I did...to be home! I looked forward to being able to play outside with my friends everyday, riding my bike, spending time with family at the camp and seeing cousins I didn't get to see the rest of the year. My summers were so simple. We woke up and we didn't always know what the day would bring but by the end of it we had some new adventures to talk about, a new secret hiding place, a new tree we found that was perfect for climbing and maybe even a new neighborhood friend we had made that day. As we got older there were several beach days and usually a trip to go visit family for a week or so but still the rest of my summer was simple. It was waking up and not really knowing what the day would hold. I want my kids to wake up and find new adventures on their own, without me "entertaining" them. I want them to get creative with each other and do things like explore our woods, find animal tracks, create their own secret clubhouse, ride their bikes and just play a game of soccer in the yard. I want them to have enough down time that they can get lost in a book or two or three. I want to have enough time with them at home so I can teach them some things that I don't have time to during the school year like cooking or doing their own laundry or how to use pruning shears and show them that work can be fun if we are working together. I want my kids to get excited about the little things and not find them boring. I want my kids to understand that real life is not always getting to do everything we want and then teaching them that that is okay because there is so much fun and joy to be found in the simple things.

That being said ,we do have a few fun things planned for the kids but when I say a few I really mean a few! We have 3 young kids who have never been to Storyland but our older two have. We will be taking the three younger ones in a couple weeks while the older two and the babies stay home (with our super fun babysitters!). This is a birthday gift for our July birthday boy. This might sound mean to some of you parents but trying to keep a watchful eye on 7 kids (At a theme park where rides are involved!) and having two in diapers is not the way I want to do Storyland. So we take them in stages. Everyone gets to go at some point and mom & dad are way less stressed...we're pretty outnumbered! We will also get to stay at my families camp on the lake for a week. I am so excited about this. I grew up spending most of my days at the camp and this is where the majority of my summer memories were made. They are to this day, my favorite memories. I am so excited to share this with my kids and am so thankful I have been given the opportunity to do so. Then we end our summer with Camp Good News (click on the link if you are not familiar with camp...it's a blast for kids and so affordable!) Ben and I will be staff workers that week and the three older boys will get to be campers. As a family we love camp so it's a great way to end our summer fun! What will do to fill in all that other time? I don't know! That is the beauty of summer vacation...not knowing what memories lie ahead and the stories we will have to tell at the end of it. I am looking forward to a great couple of months and I hope you are too!

A Time for another Persuasive Letter

Remember last year when Noah had to write us a persuasive letter in school? He was trying to convince us we should get him a dog. If you didn't read Noah's persuasive letter, click the link. It's great! This letter was my favorite thing any of the kids have ever done at school.

This year Owen has the same teacher Noah did last year. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what his persuasive letter would be about. His letter made me laugh too...not about what he's trying to persuade us on but because of what he says to persuade us. Owen's  reads:

Dear Mom and Dad,
One of the reasons I would like a new bike is the bike I have always has a flat tire. I think the reason it always has a flat tire is because I'm too heavy. Or a different reason, I don't know. 

I would like a new bike because the one I have is too small and Pepere even put it up higher. So I've totally grown out of it. If I have a new bike, it will be the right size. My brother Will, will be able to ride my old bike. 

I would like a new bike because the one I have now, Will is always riding. If I have a new bike I could ride that one. You wouldn't have to put air in the flat tires all the time.

I would like a new bike because I would ride it more often. It would also be the right size. If I get a new bike I will mow the lawn, wash the dishes, and I will put the bike near the shed more.

From,
Owen

Fortunately for Owen we do not have the same aversion to bikes as we do to dogs!

A Time to Say Goodbye

According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, 

or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ~Phil. 1:20-21

Some of you might remember the post I wrote about a summer project our family started last year. If not, you can read it here (click the link). What our family did was choose someone in our church to commit to praying for over the summer and send them notes/drawings, etc. This ended up being such an amazing project. Every single one of us received a blessing from this. We decided this would become something we were going to do every summer. What started out as a "summer project" turned into a year-long project because the kids did not want to stop sending notes to the person they had chosen and they never stopped praying for them. We just recently chose our person for the coming summer/year but the kids were adamant that they did not want to stop praying for and writing to their previous person so now they are each praying for two people! It's just awesome.

Why do I bring this up again? Well, because there is a very special lady we have been praying for because she is the person Gabe chose last summer to pray and make cards for. Because of this, Mrs. E and Gabe have developed a very special relationship. He truly loves Mrs. E and is very sad that she may not be with us much longer. Even as I write this it is hard to hold back the tears. Mrs. E has cancer and is not expected to have many more days here on Earth. Mrs. E and her husband Mr. E have been a part of our families lives from the first day we started attending the church we are at now. It's has been 8 years. They were one of the first and few families who have invited us over for meals, shared their maple syrup with us, brought me meal upon meal every time I had a baby, they gave us raspberry bushes from their abundance and picked apples for us when we didn't have time to do it ourselves. Mrs. E has been such an encouragement to me. She was always making sure I knew she appreciated the things I did and reminding me I was doing a good job as a mom. She herself had 6 children and was always so happy for us when another baby joined our family. We have been thankful for their friendship and encouragement. But for Gabe, because he was praying for her daily and because he was writing her cards, he developed a closer relationship with her than any of the other kids have and he is truly sad that she is so sick. 

The other day the kids had a 1/2 day of school and I had "my girls" here helping me so I took the opportunity to only bring the older kids over to Mrs. E's home to visit her. She is unable to get out of bed now, can barely whisper and is no longer eating. I warned the boys that it might be a shock to see her this way. I admit they were much stronger than me. I couldn't stop the tears. Mrs. E is in her 70's and up until last year she moved quicker than most of us. Ben and I always say that we hope we age just like she and Mr. E have because they are in amazing health and shape. They don't stop! So to see Mrs. E this way was hard. Mr. E picked up Gabe and brought him right over to her bed, sat him down next to her so he could give her a big hug. It was such a sweet moment. When we were driving home Gabe said, "I really wish she could have talked to me" and "I don't want Mrs. E to die". It was the perfect opportunity to remind the boys that while we are sad and will miss her very much we are only saying goodbye here on Earth. God promises life everlasting to those who believe in Him and we know Mrs. E loves God and has trusted Him as her Savior. We will see her again in heaven and that is such a precious hope that we as believers in Christ have. (John 3:16; John 5:24;)

While we were visiting, Mr. E wanted to make sure we knew that they wanted Ben to come visit too so on Saturday Ben went over with Gabe. Before Gabe walked out the door he said to me, "I really hope she can talk to me". Well God is good because she was strong enough to whisper a few thing to him and he was so happy! It's a bittersweet time for sure. I praise God for Mr. & Mrs. E's testimony and genuine love for God. They have served so faithfully and are a shining example of what God expects from his "senior saints". If you could take some time and keep this family in your prayers. They have a very big family and they are all there with Mr. & Mrs. E now but they need strength and comfort during this difficult time. I know they would covet your prayers.

A Time for Family Movie Night

We recently started having a "Family Movie Night". Partly because now we have enough kids that are old enough to actually sit through a movie, partly because we finally got a TV and no longer have to crowd around a computer screen but also because we just had two babies in less than a year. By the time Friday comes we are wiped and need a low-key relaxing activity that we can do with our older kids while we are also taking care of two babes. Now that the girls are getting bigger (18 months and 8 months now...crazy!) and it is a little easier to get out of the house and do things we will do this less, especially for the summer, but the kids have enjoyed movie night a lot! Especially since there is a "no tv/video game" rule on school nights!
The challenge with movie night we have found is finding appropriate movies. We are careful with what we allow the kids to watch. It's also challenging to find something that will be interesting for our 8-10 year olds AND the 4, 5 and 6 year-olds. Since subscribing to Amazon Prime we have been able to find a lot of great old movies to rent. If you find yourself in a similar situation, having trouble finding good family movies, here is a short list of some we have enjoyed recently:

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Follow Me, Boys!

Frozen

The Sound of Music (surprisingly ALL my older kids loved this movie)

Swiss Family Robinson

Shakiest Gun in the West (we are big Don Knotts fans!)

The Apple Dumpling Gang

Of course every good movie night comes with yummy snacks! Thankfully my kids were thrilled with popcorn because there were a lot of movie nights I barely had the energy to do that much! I pop it on the stove, I don't buy the microwave kind. Sometimes I pop it in coconut oil and that makes it really yummy!  I did find a really great recipe for "movie night" popcorn and my kids beg for it every time. If it wasn't sooooo sugary I would. Here is the recipe and it's worth making:

Movie Night Popcorn (click the link)

Then there was the night I made salted caramel pretzel bark (click the link). It's out of this world...you HAVE to make this stuff. It's incredibly easy and I promise you will not be able to stop eating it! 

A few weeks ago I was tired of popcorn and didn't have time to cook something but wanted to do something different. This is what I came up with and it turned out to be one of the kids favorite movies night snacks! 

 Basically all the ingredients for S'mores were staring me in the face when I opened the cupboard. Since it was a cold, rainy night and we couldn't make a camp fire I thought maybe the kids would be okay with just the ingredients for s'mores. I was right, they loved this!  I served it in coffee filters so the clean up was easy too!

There you have it. Throw in lots of pillows and comfy blankets and you have yourself a pretty good movie night!

 I'd love to hear your family movie night suggestions for movies AND snacks!

A Time for Grandmother's

Jena & I having some tea with
my grandmother's china that she
gave me.

I live 8 hours away from my grandmother and that is 8 hrs too much. She is a very special person in my life and I wish I could see her all the time. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood involve her and my grandfather. They were so good to my sisters and I. They spoiled us like crazy, even when we didn't deserve it..they still spoil us! I remember sleep overs and getting to sleep in my grandmother's bed with her. In the morning she would always tell me stories of how I moved constantly and took up the whole bed! Then she would make us toast on the "roulette" as she called it, which is really just toast on a cast iron skillet. I make it now for my kids and it always takes me back to that time. I remember times spent at their camp where my grandfather taught me to dive off their party boat and picking strawberries in the field with my grandmother. We would bring them inside and wash them up, then she would put them in a bowl with some cream and sugar...that was a good snack! I remember her teacup collection and her letting me and my younger sister choose one. Then she would let us drink coffee with her...it was more like milk & sugar with a drop of coffee but we felt like grown-ups and using her teacups made us feel special. I remember her allowing us to explore her bedroom...all her pretty jewelry and her shoes and clothes. The day I was able to go in and look through her jewelry and choose what I would wear with my wedding dress is a day I will never forget. 

It's hard to describe my Memere (that's what we call her) in a few words. She is such a fun person to be around. I think she's hysterical. She is very sociable and loves to have fun. She is very talkative as well. I remember growing up being told I was "just like your grandmother" because I could be chatty too...and very early in the morning! She is so talkative in fact that my uncle, who for a few years did much traveling from Maine to

Me (pregnant with Emma), Memere
and Tess last summer.

Georgia, named his GPS "Lulu" after my grandmother. My grandmother's name is Lucille and when we named Tess we gave her Lucille as her middle name, to honor my grandmother. I've written before how I find it neat that my kids resemble in personality the people we have named them after. Tess is no different. So much of what I see in her personality reminds me of my grandmother. If I had to say the one thing I hope Tess inherits from my grandmother I would have to say I'd want it to be her unconditional love. I have known nothing other than that kind of love from her. There are times I know I disappointed her, hurt her, was unkind but she never once let me know it. I know without a doubt there is nothing I could do that would make her love me less or treat me any differently. She has not only exhibited this with me but with others in her life. She is always ready with open arms to receive & forgive you. This is such a strong quality of hers. I guarantee that if you are talking with my grandmother about a conflict you are having she will always try to find the good in the person or situation and encourage a resolution. She does not like conflict, forgives easily and loves a lot! 

It is rare a day goes by that I do not think of my family, but what has me thinking about my Memere so much that I felt compelled to write about her? Well weeks ago she sent us an Easter card and in it some money, which she insisted I spend on something for myself. I wanted to make sure that whatever I spent the money on would be something that reminded me of her. I have been wanting an Alex and Ani bracelet for awhile and decided that was the perfect way to spend the money. I picked the November birthstone bangle because my Memere and I are the only two in the family who share a November birthday. Topaz always reminds me of her as does jewelry. It came in last week and I'm so excited about it. I wear it and I can't help but think about her.  

If you have a grandmother and she is living, how do you cultivate a relationship with her? How do you encourage your kids to have relationships with their grandparents? My kids do not see their own grandmother's often either. Once a year or so is about how often they get to spend time with them so as parents we have to make a point of setting time aside where the kids and I make them cards and write a note. I have to be mindful to send emails and pictures and update them. It can be so easy to forget to do these things but they are so important. As a grandmother, what are you doing to make sure you are a part of your grandchildren's lives? How do you cultivate that relationship with them, particularly if distance is a factor? I would love to hear from you all and hear the kinds of relationships you have with the grandmother's in your lives and what you have done to remain close to them. Our grandmother's are such a gift from God! 

The kids (minus Emma) with my grandparent's
last summer.